My New Roommate Was A Fraternity Member and I Liked It

The Anatomy Lesson

In my senior year of college I was one of the lucky few to get my own apartment, okay a two bedroom apartment I had to share with someone else, on campus selected at random via lottery, the only problem was I didn’t get any of my friends who had also been in the lottery because none of them got an apartment at all so my roommate, well he was a jock.  

At the start we were civil to each other.  I was the first to move in and with my friends’ help we managed to find a single bed, a coffee table, a desk and a couch on Craigslist and get them moved in to my place.  My first evening I sat there pleased with myself for being lucky because even the other seniors were still living in the dorms if they wanted to be on campus, many of them did.  My feet on the coffee table next to an open pizza box and four cans of a six-pack of beer as I already drank two I rubbed at my belly under my shirt.  My television on a stack of sturdy cardboard boxes I flipped the channels aimlessly.

I didn’t know my roommate then by more than name so when the key slid in the lock I looked to the door with anticipation.  The door slowly opened at first until something hit it and it flew open knocking against the wall.  I was startled.  And I was pissed but I was still willing to play it cool, after all maybe it was someone’s father.  

I heard, “okay, ready, lift” then two grunts just before the back of a muscled man slowly entered the apartment.  He was in a tank top and shorts.  His calves were tone and solid, his arms bulged.  Oh great, I thought, well too much muscle to be a basketball player, maybe a wrestler I thought. 

On the other side of the couch was a guy of equal size and stature who held the couch easily as they both turned to look at me as I sat staring at them.  They set it down and I decided now was a good time to introduce myself so I got to my feet and walked to the two of them.  They seemed young for seniors but you can never really tell.

“Hi, I’m Joe,” I said.

“Hank,” the one to my right said.

“Bill,” the other said.

Neither of them were names I recognized so I gave them a curious look until I heard, “hustle it up guys you don’t have all night” from the hallway.  We looked to the doorway where an equally sized man stepped into the apartment dressed casually in a polo shirt and khakis.  He spotted me and smiled.

“Vincent,” he said holding out his hand.

That was my roommate.  So who were the other guys?  I came to find out they were pledges from his fraternity and due to an overcrowding at the house he drew the lucky straw to move out to a place of, well, his own.

I repeated my name then looked down to the couch.  It was nice, much nicer than the one I found.  

“Moved in already?”

“All the stuff I own,” I said.

“Let’s take a look.”  He walked into the living room where he evaluated by possessions then made his way back to me where he looked me in the eyes.  

“So the couch,” he said.

I looked down to the one he had his pledges bring in and I shrugged my shoulders.

“Do you mind if we switch it out?”

“No,” I said.

“Good,” he said, “Let’s do it fellas.  Take his out and put mine in.”

They were quick to follow his orders.  And they switched the couches then carrying mine out he slapped the last one on the ass and told them to put some energy in it.  

“Good guys,” he said.  “Big dicks but no brains.”

I got flustered by his comment, red faced I looked away.

“No really, at least seven inches each.  Not that I measured them myself so I don’t know but it is recorded in the pledge book.  No, I measured two little geeky guys, well kind of like yourself.  Not that I have anything against geeks.  Hey I think they’re cool.  Lots of fun with all their video games and really smart.  

“One guy had a little pecker so I made him run around in a little Speedo all week.  You should have seen the way he tried to cover himself around the girls.  Five and one quarter inches and that’s rounding up for the guy when it was erect.  The other guy though, he was bigger than me by two inches.  You wouldn’t have thought god could make something so big then attach it to a little fellow.  It wasn’t fair him having such a schlong.  I tell you man he was wasting it until I showed him how to score with the chicks.  We had a fun time with that dick of his.”

I was short of breath.  My new roommate was a pervert, I thought, and he is just telling me this stuff... that’s when he put a hand on my shoulder and let out a big laugh.

“I’m just fucking with you man.  I didn’t really measure anyone’s dick, except my own maybe but that was in high school.  You’re pretty up tight.”

I looked to him and laughed.  He laughed again.  Then he put his arm around my shoulder and led me over to the couch where we sat.  He picked a beer and opened it before handing it to me.  Then he pointed to them and I told him to help himself.  He took a piece of pizza and a beer and relaxed next to me.  

The two pledges dropped boxes by the door and ran off for more.

“Do we get cable?”

“Yeah, I hacked some service through the internet so it is connected to the phone line.”

“Great,” he said.  “See geeks, even if they don’t have big dicks and I don’t know cause I haven’t measured you yet do have big balls.”

I drank deeply from the beer as I tried to imagine living with this guy for the next academic year.

“So seriously, you got a girlfriend or a boyfriend?”

“Um, well,” I said.

“Got it.  You don’t have a girlfriend now but you want one.  You had one in the past?”

“High school,” I said.

The pledges walked in with a whole entertainment center that they set next to the cardboard boxes.  They then set about putting my television in it then carried away the boxes.  I watched as they worked in their shorts and their tank tops because their muscles, well they were intimidating.  I’m not a very big guy.  I’m skinny in comparison.  They could bench press two of me or three of me.  

“So this chick of yours did she give it up?”

“Huh?”

“You fuck her?”

“Dude,” I said.

“I get it, don’t want to brag.  That’s cool.  I find most guys who brag didn’t really do anything at all and what they say is just a wish.  But I bet you scored even in college right?  With those hazel eyes and everything.  Chicks in college go for brains.”

“Right,” I said.

“I talk too much so anytime you want me to shut up just say so and I will.”

“Shut up,” I said.

He laughed and I laughed back.  He didn’t talk again for quite some time.  Maybe it was that that gave me too much confidence with my roommate.

The pledges walked by with a dresser and into the hallway where they stopped at my door before I could tell them the next room.  Since I got there first I had picked out the slightly larger room.  They set down the furniture then went by again.  I watched in confusion as they moved my stuff into the smaller room and placed his stuff in the room I had chosen.  I wanted to say something but as I looked around at these three men I felt intimidated.  

It wasn’t just the idea of getting into a fight I would lose but spending an academic year with him.  I hated arguing with my roommates all of the time.

Again and again they moved around us slowly filling up the place with everything that could be needed for a new apartment, even putting the shower curtains on the rod in the bathroom with a set of hangers.  All I had in the kitchen was a coffee pot, but Vincent brought everything else.

At the end of it he showed the guys to the door where he smacked them each on the ass as they exited then closed the doors and walked back the couch.

“Hey I’m gonna get settled a little, maybe rub one out,” he said.

I watched as he headed to his room then just inside the door I could hear him stripping out of his clothes.  I turned up the volume of the television.