I was back on my best behavior, doing all of my homework to the best of my ability, and working at Mr. Grant’s restaurant. His business partner had me do some paperwork so my actual hire date was later than when I started working there but that seems like a small thing. Everything was going pretty good, especially because when I told Mr. Grant about my new chat friend and what we talked about. He encouraged me to continue it. At first I was worried it was some kind of trick, maybe some way of testing our relationship. But then he said we should both get our blood tested together, which took some of the anxiety out of going alone and it also made me think that sometime soon we might get closer, more intimate.
When we got our test results back I suggested we open the other person’s results. We both came back negative. I was relieved because I had been engaging in some risky behavior. I thought that night that we’d fuck but we didn’t. Instead we worked our regular shift at the restaurant and cuddled together in bed afterward. I got the sense he wasn’t ready and I didn’t push it.
After some weeks chatting with redtail88, bonding over our favorite music, our favorite television shows, and movies, and books, he told me his real name was Ethan and that he worked at a local coffee shop as a barista. That was the night we exchanged phone numbers and started messaging each other directly, on break, between classes, and when we got up in the morning. It was like I had a new best friend. We talked about spanking, sex, and being young. Somehow I felt I could be more honest because I might never meet him in person.
Then, one day I told him about how well I had been behaving and how I hadn’t gotten a spanking in a long time. He said he was proud of me but asked if I missed it. I had to confess that there was something about the feeling of it that I missed. He told me not to misbehave but ask for it. Somehow that felt worse. The idea of going to Mr. Grant, asking him, just thinking about it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I told him and he said I shouldn’t deny myself.
That’s when I started asking him about the last time he’d been spanked and he told me it had been a while and that he missed it. We talked for ways he could meet up with someone but he said that applications and websites were unreliable. He felt ashamed to ask anyone he was friends with or even guys he met at bars because he was worried about being labeled a pervert. I told him I felt sorry for him and we got onto a new subject pretty quickly but I kept trying to thinking about how to help him.
I was working in the restaurant one day when it occurred to me that maybe Mr. Grant might help him. He had a certain level of authority, responsibility, sanity, and detachment, after all he had spanked me and it didn’t require sex. I thought out my whole argument, my convincing speech for two days before I went to him to make the request. I decided to do it early one morning after breakfast as I stood in my briefs cleaning up. He was reading the news on his computer at the dining room table.
“So, I was talking to my friend online the other day, redtaill88, I mean Ethan, and we were talking about spanking and he said, well, he might be interested, you know in getting one.”
“You want to spank him?”
“Well, no, well actually, no, I was thinking, maybe, if you knew someone or maybe, I don’t know if we could, you know maybe if he came here, you could give him one.”
He closed his laptop and looked to me. I was afraid he would be angry but I saw something else in his eyes. He was curious. He leaned back on the chair but didn’t cross his arms.
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I just thought you needed some discipline.”
“I did, I mean I do, but he does too,” I said.
“And what did he have to say about spanking?”
“That it’s cathartic, and it really puts him on track afterwards. So many of the guys he knows are too vanilla, and he’s worried about his friends finding out, and he doesn’t trust sites or applications too much. He said he met some creeps that way.”
“I’ll have to think about it,” he said before picking up his laptop and walking out of the room.
I decided not to bother him about it. I knew he would think it over, consider it, and decide what was best for him, and for me. The day felt kind of normal after that, though every time I texted with Ethan I wanted to tell him about my request but knew I had to keep it a secret because if it didn’t work out he might blame Mr. Grant instead of understanding his reasons.
As it turned out I didn’t have to wait long because that night after work as we got into bed he brought up the subject. He said he would do it but there was no commitment. He said I could be there if Ethan wanted but not to ask or expect to take part in either being spanked or spanking him. I knew it was a compromise, maybe in some part to make me happy, so I didn’t push for anything else.
I told Ethan the next day via text message and he responded minutes later that he was excited about it and he couldn’t wait to meet me. That’s when it occurred to me that I had never actually met him. Who was I inviting over? I knew I had to meet him first, had to check him out. I asked to meet him after his shift and he agreed. He said he’d be off by two o’clock and told me the name of the place and the address. He told me what he looked like.
I had to take the bus to get there, and I mapped out how to get to campus afterward. I showed up fifteen minutes early. I decided before hand that if I felt uncomfortable at any time I would just walk away. I didn’t want to be so greedy, so excited, that I put myself or Mr. Grant at risk. The place was called Shades of Black. It was an independent, small coffee shop in a bohemian part of town, near the college, that was being gentrified by gays and lesbians who wanted something quaint and diverse. I could tell by the patrons who sat in front at the tables there that I liked it. Many were young, pierced, and tattooed.
Inside it was small, enough room for tables and chairs, narrow aisles to make it to the back corner where the coffee bar was. The walls were decorated with paintings and collages that looked amateur but were also interesting, each of them had a placard with the name of the piece, name of the artist, and price.
I didn’t pay much attention to each of them though because I was on a mission so I worked my way to the line of customers, and to where I saw Ethan for the first time as he worked the register. Ethan was handsome and there was something earthy about him. He wore a button down shirt that was open at the collar. His hair was combed and neat but he didn’t use anything to hold it, clean shaven. He was naturally muscled but had an efficiency of movement that made me think he was comfortable.
Slowly I got worked to the front of the line. He was the only person working. I stepped close, but had been thinking about my introduction so much that I didn’t realize he expected me to order something. I thought to keep it simple, maybe get a snack.
“I’m uh, I’m, I’ll have a drip coffee with a fresh biscotti,” I said.
He nodded and walked away to get my order. I looked over the glass counter to see he wore slacks and had a nice ass. It would be nice to see it turned red, I thought, but then reprimanded myself for thinking something like that about someone I hadn’t met in person and was like a friend. He brought everything back easy enough and looked over my shoulder before he leaned close.
“It’s on the house,” he said.
I raised my eyebrows with surprise.
“You’re Shane right,” he said.
“How did you? I mean, I didn’t tell you what I looked like,” I said.
“You told me about your cane and how you still walked around with it sometimes, especially if you were nervous because you could use it as a weapon to defend yourself.”
“Old habits,” I replied.
“I thought you gave it up,” he said.
“Sort of, but like you said.”
“Nothing to worry about, I get off in fifteen minutes, or at least when the next guy shows up. He’s running late. Why don’t you go wait out front?”
“Um, yeah, sure,” I said before picking up my coffee and small plate with my snack. I turned away from him, looked back once, then continued on my way.
It was easy to find a place to sit, though the tables seemed a little too close together. I hooked my cane around the arm rest and began to eat my biscotti but after a few bites I lost interest when I saw someone light up a cigarette nearby. It made me want one, more than that a drink. I sat back and pulled my phone from my pocket, found a game and began to play it.
Several rounds later Ethan approached the table so I ended the game and put my phone away as I signaled for him to have a seat. He was more handsome the second time, definitely someone I would have gone after in a bar. He had a certain look that made it hard to believe he would be into spanking. It was difficult to think anyone else would be into it at that point in my life.
“It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” he said. “I was trying to imagine what you looked like. I was kind of worried you’d be some kind of creep or something.”
I couldn’t help myself as I sat up and leaned against the table. A mean joke popped into my head and I just had to say it.
“Actually I’m not Shane, he’s around the corner in a van with some handcuffs,” I said. I felt bad as soon as I had said it.
He raised an eyebrow to me, then I laughed and he did the same. Had I ruined my first impression? I thought about how I could win him back into my confidence.
“I’m joking, you know, sorry, I’m trying to get over being sarcastic.”
“Don’t worry about it, you’re nervous,” he said.
“Thanks,” I replied as I relaxed in my chair.
Somehow I was at a loss for words after that. We had shared so much that it felt like some ball of stuff, something that had been left outside, and we couldn’t talk about the reason we were meeting, not really. Who talks about spanking in public? Who talks about getting together for a session? At first I was relieved when he looked like he was about to speak.
“Tell me about Mr. Grant,” he said. “You haven’t really said much about him. I didn’t know if it was because he read your text messages or anything like that.”
“What? No, he’s not anything like that. He’s really cool actually. He just started his own restaurant, you know that, and he had to get his ex-boyfriend out of it. That was pretty difficult for him to do personally. I told you he’s my next door neighbor. He’s uh, well usually he’s pretty calm.”
“You don’t think he’s like a sadist or anything?”
“No, no way, he’s very uh, judicious I guess, about you know, when it happens. He’s really fair, but he holds me to a standard you know.”
“Are the two of you a couple? Is he your boyfriend? You didn’t really make that clear.”
“Yeah, I guess, it’s not official. I did kind of move in though. We’ve spent just about every night cuddled together in bed. It’s a bit weird working with him then going home together but you know, it’s good.”
“Do you think he keeps secrets? He’s never mean?”
“No, really, he’s cool,” I said.
“Did he seem okay with us, you know, me?”
“Yeah, I mean he was reluctant at first but he came around to it. I think for him it’s more about discipline, you know.”
“That sounds pretty nice, it’s so hard to find a guy like that.”
Suddenly I had a pang of jealousy as I thought about taking Ethan home, back to Mr. Grant’s where they might get along too well. What if they wanted to do it again? What else could happen? Was Ethan the mature, young man that Mr. Grant was trying to teach me to be? I had regret for even messaging Ethan, but especially for inviting him and meeting him.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he said.
He got up and I did the same. I was about to leave my coffee on the table when he noticed it and went back to retrieve the cup and dish. He took them inside, then came back out to me as I stood in the sunlight. When he got back to me he asked if I had to catch a bus and when. I told him and he seemed to make a note of it before he led me down the sidewalk. We started to talk about small things, make jokes, and tell funny stories. He led me on a complicated route to the bus stop, five minutes early. We fell silent as other people were there. We’d look at each other and we couldn’t help but smile or laugh for no good reason.
Finally the bus arrived a few minutes late and he stepped with me as I got onboard, but stopped short, moved to the side. I thanked him and he thanked me back. It was an odd conversation, an odd meeting, and yet I liked him. How much can you ever really know about someone? He didn’t seem dangerous. I walked to the back of the bus and couldn’t help but notice he stared in the bus’s direction. It was kind of cute. I had this feeling that I should text him but stopped myself from doing it right away. I waited until I got to campus, then I texted him that I made it safely to college and that I’d talk with him after class. He responded with a smiley face.
Class was boring. I couldn’t help but keep thinking about Ethan and Mr. Grant. What had I done? But then I pushed the thoughts from my mind when I got out. I sent a message to Ethan and one to Mr. Grant saying the meeting went well and that I’d meet him at the restaurant. Ethan responded with a message telling me he was eating ice cream in his underwear as he surfed the internet. Mr. Grant sent a message thanking me and telling me we’d talk about it after work. It was a precarious situation but I was happy. I had two men in my life, a friend and a potential lover.
After work we talked about Ethan. I tried to give as much detail as I could and I told Mr. Grant that I thought he was a good guy and that I thought we could trust him. Mr. Grant said that he trusted me and that I should try to make the session for the weekend when both of us were free.
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