Ring Finger

On my second drink which I was nursing slowly and feeling like I needed to get out of the bar to go home and jerk off before I fell asleep I sighed before looking up the television, then down to the young man who just stepped up.  I had spotted him before with some friends in the corner, other young men, flamboyant and obviously gay, but they had all departed and he was alone.

Just shorter than myself with stylish blonde hair, glasses, an oval and hairless face, he looked about twenty, a college student, and he looked bored, irritated even.

“Excuse me, but I don’t have my glasses.  Could you tell me the time on the clock over there?” I asked.

He looked to the clock at the end of the bar near the bottles of alcohol, smirked, and then looked back to me.  He looked me up and down and I knew he was figuring I wasn’t much to look at.  I was thirty-five, soft, with a receding hairline, and wearing a suit and tie. 

“Is that some kind of pick up line?” he asked.

“Me?  Oh no,” I said before holding up my left hand to show him my wedding ring.  “I’m married.”

“Really?”

“This isn’t a gay bar is it?  I mean, not to say that you are, but you’re friends, and you thinking, well, that I was trying to pick you up or come on to you.”

He smiled at me, a superior grin, but there was kindness in his eyes.  He made his way down the few feet of bar and stood next to me.

“It’s not a gay bar.  I guess with my friends we get pretty campy,” he said.  “Jesus, is it that obvious?”

“Well, I mean, thinking I was, you know,” I said.  

I thumbed my ring and looked away from his blue eyes to the wood then to our partial reflections, covered a little by more bottles.

“I didn’t mean anything.  It’s just, you know, this is a college town and guess I’m used to guys hitting on me.”

“Guys like me?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“You’re way out of my league,” I said.

“You think so,?” he asked.  “What do you know about it?”
I smirked before taking a sip of my drink to keep the buzz.

“It’s been years but I’m not much to look at and you, well, you’re muscular, young, and have a cute face, the blonde hair...”

“You think I’m cute?  I thought you were married,” he said.

“Well, I am but I can still look,” I said.  “Not that, I mean, you know.”

He smiled at me as if I had made some fatal mistake, revealed something to him I didn’t want him to know, anyone to know, some latent instinct, some true desire.

“And where is your wife on this particular night?” he asked.

“Back home,” I said.

“Far from here?”

“Very far,” I said.  “I’m on a business trip.  I have a room over at the Norman Hotel.  It’s nice.  I got bumped up to a deluxe for free since they don’t have many guests.  It’s the one good thing about this trip.”

“Business didn’t go so well?”

“No,” I said.  “I’m in publishing.”

“Really?  I didn’t think anyone was in that anymore.”

“There are still a few of us,” I said.

“Well, let me buy you another drink,” he said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said.

I downed my drink and he signaled to the bartender.  When the woman got to us he ordered a drink for each of us but when she returned with the bottle I motioned for him to wait and reached for my own wallet.

“I said, I got this.”

“Well, you’re in college,” I said.  “You need to save your cash for textbooks.  I have an expense account.”

“Hey, I can afford one drink for a friend,” he said.  “Besides my textbooks are all novels I pick up at the used bookstore.”

“A friend?” I asked.

“Yeah, tell me about the publishing industry.  Like, how does a young writer get into it these days?”

“Unfortunately, it’s the one thing that hasn’t changed,” I said.

“Bore me with the details,” he said.

I sipped from my drink trying to recall all the details I could about the publishing industry, then sort them into discernible lessons I could tell this young man.  I started with the slush pile, something he seemed to know and went into the details about how the industry worked and still works.  He smiled and listened as I told him a few details he didn’t know.  I thought I was boring to him until he ordered another drink for us but this time I paid despite him reaching into his pocket.  He smiled at me and I smiled back.  He got comfortable and began telling me what he knew.  We were exchanging ideas.  We talked about two hundred years of publishing.  We were making jokes and laughing at them.  And somehow our conversation moved on, into an easy dialogue as we continued to drink.  

Once, when he reached into his pocket I motioned to stop him, my hand got too close and I touched the sleeve of his sweater.  I felt the soft fabric and looked up to him embarrassed about being so clumsy but he only smiled back at me.  Did he think I had revealed something else to him?  I pulled back my hand, looked away, and cleared my throat as I pulled out some cash from my pocket.

“Cash?” he asked.

“Too many drinks,” I said.  “I can only lie about so many.”

“But now it’s getting expensive for you too,” he said.

“Too bad we’re not back at my room,” I said.  “I have lots to drink there.”

He laughed.

“What?” I asked.

“You are trying to pick me up,” he said.

I held out my hand with the ring and showed it o him.

“Let me see that thing,” he said.  “Did you get that out of cereal box?”

He took hold of my hand and I could feel his warm fingers against my skin.  I liked the feeling of it, but I was drunk.  He looked at my ring, got closer, closer.  He touched it and twisted it around my finger.

“Feels real enough,” he said.

“This should be our last drink here,” he said.

“Here?” I asked.

“You said you have more and I’m too drunk to take the bus back to the college.  Besides I’m not sure if they are still running,” he said.

I paid for our drinks and we made small talk until they were finished before he excused himself to go the bathroom.  I retrieved my coat and hat from the coat check area and waited for him by the door.  I could tell he wasn’t as drunk as I felt by the way he walked to me and took hold of my collar and pulled me out to the sidewalk.  We laughed and he let me go.  

“You’re a tease,” I said.

“Oh god, I am,” he said.  “I love to get guys worked up.”

We heard conversation around us, realized someone, others, could hear our conversation and laughed again.  We walked away towards my hotel.  He was slightly ahead of me and I quickly found I needed to pee so I told him we had to hurry.

“Just step into an alley and go there.  No one will see you, this is downtown.”

“Sh, now everyone knows,” I said.

He raised his arms into the winter snowflakes.  

“No one’s around,” he said.

I let out a laugh and looked to the windows.  He was right.  No one was around and no one was looking.  I thought about how far it was back to the hotel and decided I needed to go sooner than that.  I told him I wanted to go in the next alley.  He pointed one out to me and I stepped to it, into the shadows, around a dumpster where I felt no one would see and unzipped my fly.  He waited on the sidewalk looking both ways.  I suddenly realized this stranger was responsible for my safety.  He could just as easily robbed me, stepped into the shadows, knocked me down, taken my wallet and my ring.

“Hurry up,” he said.

“Someone coming?”

“No but it’s cold out here,” he said.

I finished my business and zipped up before walking back out and looking both ways before we continued.  We had conspired.  We were in a conspiracy.  We got to the hotel easily enough and I led the way into the elevator, to my floor, and to my room where I stopped in the doorway and leaned against the door.

“Before we go in there,” I said.  “I don’t remember the state I left it in and there could be something embarrassing out.”

“Like porn?” he asked.

“Like my underwear,” I said.

He stepped to me and leaned against the other side of the door frame.  He looked me in the eye and looked back at him.  It was a moment of some spiritual connection, I thought.  

“I have one question for you,” he said.

This is it, I thought, he’s going to ask me if I’m gay.  I’m going to deny it and maybe, just maybe he’ll believe me.

“Boxer or briefs?” he asked.

“Briefs,” I said.

He nodded.

“What?” I asked.

“Older guys, married guys, wear the tighty whites.  Their wives buy them because they’re cheap so she can spend the money on other things for the family,” he said.

“Is that so?” I asked.

“My father was the same way,” he said.

He took the keycard from my wallet in my breast pocket and was about to slide it in the lock when he stopped me with a touch of his fingers to my hand.  I looked up to him.  He smiled.

“Are you a little bit curious?” he asked.

I looked out into the hallway but no one was around, possibly even awake.

“Curious?” I asked.  “I’m not your type.  We’re not even in the same league.”

“Fuck that,” he said.  “Bodies are bodies, flesh is flesh.  Would I show you off to my friends?  Probably not, but this isn’t that."

I gulped.  He was making his move.  Maybe we could have some fun, I thought.  He was young, cute, and likable.  Bodies are bodies, flesh is flesh, I thought.

“Just tell me you’re curious,” he said.

I gulped.

“I’m curious,” I said.

“Ever had sex with a man before?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“I’ll show you everything you need to know,” he said.

I looked to the handle where my hand twitched with nervousness.  I stuck the card in until the light turned green and he opened the door.  He grabbed my tie, wrapped it around his hand, and pulled me inside where he took the card from the lock, closed the door, and pulled me into a kiss.  I kissed back until our tongues were rubbing against each other as his hands explored my body and I reached back to his where I lifted up his shirt in the back and grabbed at his ass. He pulled away from the kiss.

“Most straight guys don’t like to kiss, maybe a blow job, maybe anal sex,” he said.  “I’m glad you do.”

We kissed as we stripped off each other’s clothes and he led me to the bed.  I was in my briefs and he pushed me down onto my butt.  He stood over me shirtless with his pants open.  I could see the bulge of his penis, thin fabric of boxers.  He reached into the hole and pulled out his dick.  It was long with a bulbous head.  He was circumcised.

“Just give me a blow job right now,” he said.  “Then I’ll show you how to have some real fun.”

I leaned forward, kissed the head of his dick, nibbled at it with my lips, and licked it as he moaned with pleasure.  He grabbed the back of my head and I pulled his pants down his thighs, his boxers, and he stepped out of them.  He was naked, his hard cock stuck out from his body.  He grabbed at my ears and pulled me to him again.  I worked at his cock for a long time, licked, sucked, the shaft, the balls, and his taint.  

We were two men, two people.  He grabbed at his own nipples as he got closer to orgasm.  My own hard cock leaked against the white fabric of my underwear.  I reached down to play with myself and was surprised how much mucous was there.  My dick was slippery.  I knew it would be easy to orgasm so I concentrated on him.  I grabbed at his hips, his ass, his thighs until finally he slapped me on the side of the face and I pulled my head away.  He shot onto my face and I closed my eyes.  I could feel its momentary warmth on my skin before it cooled and was a sticky, thick mess.  I grabbed my own cock and worked it until I orgasmed, shot through the fabric to the floor.  I bucked a little as I rubbed the head and tickled it until I was empty.

“You’re a mess,” he said.  “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He took my hand and led me to the bathroom where I waited for him to start the shower.  He got the water nice and hot and helped me inside before stepping in himself.  Our bodies in the small space made me conscious again of our differences.  I felt his chest, his muscles and he grabbed hold of my soft tissue.  He washed my face until it was clean and I could open my eyes.  

The first thing I saw was his shoulder, the veins in his neck.  I touched his biceps, the crux of his elbow, felt the hairs on his forearm.  His hands went to my shoulders.  We kissed and I felt our dicks bump together, clumsy at first but enjoyable so we continued to do it.  He smiled.

“Is this really your first time with a guy?” he asked.

“Like this,” I said.

My hands went to his hips where I could feel the bone, muscle, and flesh.  My thumbs sunk down the v of his crotch to his dick.  I was getting excited again and he could tell.  I kissed at him some more until he pulled away though I caught his lip with my own momentarily.  I reached around to his ass where I grabbed at it and pulled him close.  His head over my shoulder he put his lips close to my ear.

“I’m going to fuck your ass,” he said.

He nibbled at my ear and I felt my cock pressed against his cock.  They were hard and leaking.  

"No, I want to fuck you," I said.

"I don't usually bottom."

"Will you do it for me?"

"Fuck, I'm so horny. I want you so bad," he said.

“Up against the wall,” I ordered.

He moved to the wall. I moved, pressed him against the linoleum.  I picked up a bar of soap and started at his shoulders before I moved to the small of his back, his sides, hips, then his fleshy ass until I was between his cheeks.  I probed inside to his hole where I tickled and teased with a soapy finger before I put the bar aside and washed him out with clean water.  I swallowed hard as I felt myself let go of any preconceptions about who would get fucked.  

He turned off the water and we stepped out together where he handed me a towel.  We laughed at the sight of us in the hotel room mirrors as we dried.  He snapped a towel at me playfully and I snapped mine back.  I thought for a moment we had moved on to something else, something would come along to ruin this but he stepped to me, took hold of me, and led me out into the bedroom.  

At the bed we stopped and I wrapped my arms around him from behind, kissed at his neck. I could feel my stiff penis between his butt cheeks.  I grabbed at his chest, touched his nipples, tickled his ribs.  He reached back for my body, groped at the skin of my thighs.

“Do you have any lubricant?” he asked.

“In my overnight bag,” I said.

“Did you buy it just for this?” he asked.

“Maybe,” I said.

“So you knew you wanted something,” he said.

I went to find my bag and told him to get on the bed on all fours.  It was easy to find the bag, the lubricant and the condoms inside which I carried over to the bed.  I got onto my knees behind him and I felt the shift of weight, heard the squeak of bed springs.  I touched his ass, pulled at it and touched my finger inside, against his anus with some lubricant. He gave easily to the first digit so I squeezed more inside before working my dick until it was slippery.
  
“That feels so good,” he said.

I felt his weight against me shift on the bed.  I felt his cock between his thighs.  He was naked, open, exposed, and waiting.  I kissed at his neck as I tore open the condom package. I worked for a moment to get the tight material on my dick before I pressed it between his cheeks.  I felt him there and I let out a sigh.  I looked up to the headboard, the wall.  I pushed myself inside, filled him.  He grunted.

I worked slowly, methodically, grabbed hold of his shoulder and I felt the slickness of my two fingers.  I felt the hair of his testicles tickle my own.  I was inside of him.

My cock had hardened.  My balls pulled tight.  It was all about me.  But then, I felt him slowly pulling and I felt like he would pull me inside out, every part of my being wanted to collapse into that single point but it wouldn’t be enough.  My being would follow that point until I could find the cause.  I was empty but only for a moment before he pushed back against me and I felt him again.  My hand went from his shoulder down his back until I grabbed at his hips.  

He squeezed my flesh.  I lowered my shoulders, my cock began to rub inside of him so he shifted a little. I balanced myself and reached for his dick, my sweaty forehead against his back.  I pulled out.  I thrust inside.  He let out a groan and balled the sheets in his hands, reached for the end of the bed.  I fucked him until he was moaning and the bed was rocking, a steady rhythm as it knocked against the wall.  My neighbors could hear but it didn’t matter.

I reached for his shoulders but my hands didn’t stay long.  My fingers slipped over his skin down to his back, placed my hand on the small of his back and it felt like we’d melted into each other for a moment before it was gone and I felt his hands on my hips, my thighs.  He was getting faster and faster.  My balls slapped against him.  

The headboard was knocking harder and louder.  We were both moaning and grunting.  I played with the head of his dick which was slick and sensitive.  He came first.  He grabbed hold of me tighter than he had ever done before and I let myself go inside of him.  I held the condom on as I pulled out. 

I worked the rubber off and tied it before I threw it to the floor, then I pressed against his back as we collapsed to the bed.  I felt the size of him, his warmth.  I kissed at his neck and he moaned.  

We lay there for a long time in our mess until pragmatism overruled sentimentality and we pulled our bodies apart.  He headed to the shower first.  I sat there for a moment as I thought about what I had done, how much better I felt.  I thought about us trading places in the shower and how he would be alone in my room, plus I wanted to see him again, play with him again, maybe if only for one last time.  I pushed myself from the bed and walked into the bathroom where I asked him if I could join him.  He invited me inside and we laughed at each other as I stepped inside.  I reached for his chest, unsure if he would let me touch him.  He did.  We kissed.  I felt any last thoughts, any last emotion leave me through my lips.  

We washed each other a little but mostly we washed ourselves, he was especially attentive to his ass where he made sure to get rid of the lubricant and any other fluids.  We washed until we felt clean, scrubbed, our skins new.  He stepped out first and I followed.  We dried ourselves again.  I saw us in the mirror.  I saw his muscled body.  

Whatever this was it was over, I thought.  It was ending.  So this is what it feels like, I thought.  This is what it is like to know someone intensely, intimately if only for a few hours.  It wasn’t going to happen again.  He wrapped the towel around his waist and I did the same before we walked back into the bedroom.  

“I guess I should be going,” he said.

I looked to the clock.  I saw that it was after two o’clock in the morning and I thought about buses, taxis, or even driving him and I thought about all we had drank together.

“No, stay,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we can watch television or something, get a few hours sleep,” I said.

“Okay,” he said.  

He moved to the bed where he repositioned the pillows against the headboard to make a comfortable place to sit for us.  I turned on the television and carried the remote to the where I sat beside him.  We sat shoulder to shoulder for a while as I felt any intimacy between us had been momentary I wanted it back again so I took his hand.  He looked to me and smiled, kissed me on the cheek.  We sat like that for a long time before I felt it slipping again, he was falling asleep.  I reached to his towel and began to work his dick.  I felt the length of it, the bulbous head.  His head against my shoulder, my neck, the heat of his breath.  I worked him until he ejaculated again onto the towel which he pulled off and I used to clean up the mess before throwing it into the bathroom as he rolled onto his side away from me.  

“Can I cuddle with you?” I asked.

I thought for a moment that I would get to hold him from behind, feel some new part of him but he turned on me and I rolled away, pulled off my towel.  I felt his naked body against my own.  There were only a few hours left.  My alarm was set for eight o’clock and maybe he would be gone before that but whatever this was it wouldn’t happen again.

The next day as I sat looking at my breakfast I thumbed my ring as the waiter caught my eye. We knew what the other was but we didn't know what the other wanted, at least not for sure, but so many young guys just want a little bit of fun with no commitment. Could this little symbol work again?