For the next couple of days, weeks really, we were inseparable, well nearly, I mean we had class and stuff but we even started doing homework, reading books and writing essays in each other’s rooms. The most difficult part was that we almost always ended up making out, and sometimes more. The most awkward being when Kevin walked in on Brad giving me head. He shrieked and jumped back, slammed the door with such force that we looked at each other in concern.
“Should I stop?” he asked.
I just pulled him back onto my dick and picked up my phone. I sent a text to Kevin to apologize and he replied that he’d give us ten minutes to finish but that he needed to sleep. After that we only used my room when I knew for sure Kevin wouldn’t be home for hours and we used his room the other times. The partying was over. The diaper was forgotten. And we did the things boyfriends do, well try to do, if permitted. There was one gay bar in town and an open minded coffee shop so we spent a lot of time at those places holding hands when we could and kissing briefly if no one was looking.
I thought the worst was Thanksgiving break. We went to our separate homes but we texted and called each other all of the time. The first day back on campus we fucked like rabbits in his room, twice. We got so comfortable with each other, especially in our bedrooms. We thought nothing of touching each other, holding a hand, leaning against each other. Even in my bedroom we leaned against each other reading, one time when Kevin walked into the room. He sighed with relief.
“You guys make a cute couple but I’m glad you’re keeping it in your pants,” he said. “I don’t have anything against gay sex. Sex is sex, but still...”
We just looked to each other and smiled because minutes before we had blown each other and just pulled on our pants because I knew Kevin would be back soon. He had no idea, at least he pretended he didn’t and went about his business of collecting some books before heading out. We waited until he left the room before breaking into laughter and grabbing at each other again.
Our bond had gotten so strong that it wasn’t a surprise when Brad told me he wanted to go out on a real date before Christmas break, you know eat at a fancy restaurant, well the one we could afford and wouldn’t get too weirded out by having two dudes sitting across a table from each other. The whole thing was kind of surreal. And we had to be cautious about any public displays of affection.
Honestly, I kept looking over my shoulder as we walked back and forth from the car to the movie theater and the restaurant. It felt like I was fighting a magnetic force but it was nice, especially sitting across from each other. It was the date I had always imagined. We joked and made small talk with an ease that comes from being comfortable with each other, not worrying that we might say the wrong thing. But there was one moment when he opened his mouth as if he had something to say but paused so I just shrugged it off. It was all so romantic and by the time we got back to campus I couldn’t resist anymore, he couldn’t resist anymore, and we started kissing in the parking lot. I was hard and groping him with almost full intention of fucking right there when he pulled away.
“Wait,” he said, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What?”
“It’s embarrassing,” he replied.
“You can tell me anything.”
I looked into his eyes and at his face searching for some clue, wanting him to look back at me and give me his cute half smile before confessing something stupid. But when he didn’t I started to get worried. Was it an STD? Was it another guy? I could deal with that if, and only if tonight had been some kind of ceremonial proposal for monogamy.
“Let’s go down to the beach,” he said breaking the silence.
We looked around. There were a few people but no one nearby so we got out. I adjusted my clothes to hide my erection. He looked like he was doing the same. I followed after him to the beginning of the trail. It was dark and no one was around so I caught up with him and took his hand. We walked together along the well trodden path.
Down on the beach there was a kind of quiet, pleasant, darkness that I figured so few people ever enjoyed anymore. We held hands as we sat next to each other talking in hushed tones about our past, our present, and even glimmers of our future, not just our own goals but together, like as a couple.
After we had talked out everything, mapped out our lives and there was only silence between us I got up to my feet and said I had to go pee. I walked away a few feet to a rock, unzipped, and released myself. We both heard it hit the sand and we laughed.
“How can you do that? Just whip it out and pee over there?”
“You ran around in a diaper at a Halloween party. You change all of the time in the locker room. And you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“A locker room is a locker room, and the party, well I had to have a few drinks, but just being so casual about it all. I just feel like I have to be strong all of the time and in control. It’s like I don’t want to be a fool, you know. Like your little speedo, I could never do that.”
I got behind him, sat with my chest against his back, and wrapped my arms around his sides to his chest. He relaxed into me and I realized this is what I had always feared, being affectionate to another man in public. I had always worried about what people would think. Would they berate me? Would they attack me? Could I defend myself? Would my truth spread like some kind of virus and somehow I would lose my job and all possible future career? It didn’t matter with him. It didn’t right then as we sat there in the darkness.
My hands drifted to his sides and I felt the hem of his shirt so I lifted it a little and felt his skin. I reached around to his chest where I felt his pectoral muscles and down to his abs that had definition even as he sat there. I wouldn’t want him to feel me in the same position, my meager, soft belly. I started to move lower and he stopped me with a hand over mine. He turned back to me and I leaned up to kiss him briefly before laying my head against his shoulder.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said.
“What is it?”
“I’m... I’m wearing a diaper.”
I lifted my head at the answer. I didn’t feel revulsion but this kind of curiousness, this kind of confusion. Why would he wear a diaper? Was it one of the extra ones? Why on a date? Why now? Did I introduce him to something?
“I know it sounds crazy but it’s true.”
He started to pull away but I held onto him. I didn’t want space now. I didn’t want to be separated from him. I didn’t want him to feel rejected by me.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It’s kind of like this fun secret I have.”
“Do you think I’m weird?”
“No, but like, is this a regular thing?”
“I just did it a few times after the party. I was bored one night and I remembered the diapers in the closet so I just put one on to see what it would feel like and it was kind of fun. I’ve even slept in them. The first time I woke up in it there was this kind of shock but also this kind of fun, different feeling. I don’t know how to explain it. It was like the first time you wake up with morning wood and you kind of laugh to yourself.”
“And you’re wearing one tonight? What’s it like?”
“Do you know how sometimes you wake up and you don’t feel like yourself but then you get dressed and you put on your shoes and maybe a watch and a necklace or something and you feel more confident. It’s weird but that’s how I feel. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should be embarrassed but it’s like that.”
He started to pull away again but I held onto him tightly and pulled him back into me. I wrapped my arms around him, kissed at his neck a little. I wanted him to know I wasn’t going anywhere and that he could trust me. I wanted him to feel as safe as I did with him. And finally, finally after I held him for long enough he relaxed.
“Are you okay with it? Are you okay with dating a guy who, you know, wears a diaper? I’d understand if you thought I was some kind of freak or something.”
“I don’t think you’re a freak at all. I get it, well, I think I do. Like you said it’s your secret, but I know it would be embarrassing for others to find out.”
“Thank you,” he said.
I felt his fingers interlace with my own. We sat together for a long time.
“Thank you for sharing with me,” I said.
“I don’t know if I had a choice with us being boyfriends and all,” he replied.
“So is it official then? Does tonight’s date, you know, make us like a couple?”
“I thought this last few weeks made it like a thing, but yeah, I’m going to update my social media as soon as we get home.”
“Me too,” I said.
We both laughed. And then I felt him squirm a little.
“What is it?”
“I have to pee,” he answered.
“You’re wearing a diaper so just do it,” I said.
“Not here, not in my jeans,” he said. “It’ll make a mess.”
“Then let’s get you out of your jeans,” I replied.
“We’re on a public beach,” he said.
“At college, we’re college students and this is the college’s beach. Old men sun bathe nude here during the day when most of us are in classes. People skinny dip here all of the time.”
“Not me, not that, not now,” he said.
And I realized he had his own fears about public embarrassment. So I held him close and tried to measure time. How much longer could we sit here? Somewhere, somehow, my exploration of his body had turned to something else and I grabbed at his sides, forced my hands up to his arm pits where I tickled his sensitive skin. He squealed and laughed so I kept at him. He jerked about in my hands but he was at my mercy.
“Oh god,” he said.
And I stopped. At first I didn’t know what happened, but then I smelled it, urine. He was pissing himself. “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” he said as I continued to hold him. He tightened in my arms as he tried to will his sphincter to close and for it to stop but he couldn’t. I tightened my own eyes sympathetically as I knew just how painful it was to try such a thing and how impossible it felt once it was going.
“Now what?” he asked.
We walked the mile and a half trail back to campus to the parking lot and made sure no one was around before we stepped out into the light. I looked back to him when he stopped and tried to evaluate the situation. He held out his arms in frustration. I could tell there was a slight bulge in his crotch but I couldn’t see any wet spots from where it leaked.
“What do we do now?”
“I’d say we go back to my room but you don’t have any more diapers there.”
“Sh, don’t be so loud,” he replied.
I stood and looked around the parking lot. There was no one else around. I looked to his face that had turned red and I saw the way he wobbled on his feet unsure if he should run home or retreat back to the darkness. Fuck it, I thought to myself, and I grabbed his hand and we started to run. When we passed people we started to laugh and by the time we made it back to his frat house we were out of breath. We pushed open the front door and dashed to his room. No one saw. He ran in first and I slammed the door shut with my back to it. I turned the lock. We looked at each other and broke into more laughter and that’s when we heard someone pound on the wall between the rooms and shout for us to keep it down. We both lowered our volume but continued to laugh as I made my way to the bed where we fell onto it and tickled at each other for a few minutes before kissing and groping at each other a little. But when I got to his jeans, to his diaper, I stopped, and pushed him away.
“What?” he asked.
“I think we need to get you cleaned up,” I said.
“We?”
“Can I do the honors?”
“I don’t know. I guess. I mean you did the first time.”
I went over to his closet and he told me where to find the new diapers he had bought. They were buried under old gym clothes: shorts, t-shirts, and jockstraps. I pulled one from pack and moved back over to the bed and held it up.
“Wait, you need the powder and oil,” he said.
“What was I thinking?” I replied sarcastically.
He pointed to his desk drawer where I found the supplies needed. He pushed himself further up on the bed, raised his knees. I noticed he had his shoes on the bed and I admonished him for that. He giggled a little and kicked them off before putting his feet back on the bed. I moved in front of him, set down the supplies, then reached for his belt. I pulled off his jeans and looked to the diaper. Slow and deliberate I opened it unsure if some urine would leak out or what exactly would happen. I was half surprised to see his hard dick just laying there amongst his pubic hair.
“Be careful or I might pee again, this time on you,” he said.
“You do and you’re getting a spanking,” I replied.
I wiped his dick and balls with a disposable wipe then dried it with a nearby towel he used for the shower. I pulled the diaper out from under him. He spread his knees. His hard dick was right there and I couldn’t help myself. I had wanted him all night and there it was. I grabbed hold of it and bent down, kissed the head at first before pulling back his foreskin and taking his dick into my mouth. Squishy but resilient I sucked at him until spit leaked down from my lips to his balls that I pinched between my fingers. He squirmed and moaned, pushed himself up the bed some more so that I could get onto it.
We needed one moment to pause, I thought, so I pulled off and went to his nightstand where I retrieved the condoms and lubricant that I tossed onto the bed. He pulled off his shirt and I made quick work of stripping out of my clothes. I got onto the bed on my knees and moved between his feet.
“Get those feet up,” I said.
He rolled back into a ball and presented his asshole to me. His hands under his knees, his balls and dick aimed at his own face. I slapped at his butt and told him to hold his feet higher as I pulled out the condom. I watched him struggle a little and we laughed as I rolled the condom down over my dick. I squirted some lubricant on my dick and his hole, rubbed at each of them. He started to relax and complain that he couldn’t breath but I slapped his ass again and moved in, took hold of his legs and stuck my dick against his hole. In one slow but consistent motion he took it all of the way to the balls and I felt him grip at me. He looked into my eyes.
“You’re becoming a natural at this,” I said.
“Only for you,” he replied.
I moved in for a quick kiss before I began to fuck him. My balls slapped at his skin, he grabbed at my shoulders and I grabbed at his chest muscles. He relaxed and I went at him with more enthusiasm until we could hear the frame knocking against the wall so he motioned for me to stop and roll onto my back. I moved as he said and he got up to his feet, stepped over me, then lowered himself onto my dick facing me. He wanted me and I wanted him.
We felt complete and tonight he had trusted me with his secret, his new kink that I had accidentally introduced him to. He grabbed at my face, pulled at my burning ears and I grabbed at his hips. We moved together like few other times in my life and he began to moan and scream a little so I tapped him to stop and he did. I motioned for him to get on all fours and when he did I got up behind him but this time I picked up the pillow and told him to bite down on it as I thrust into him. It didn’t take much more before be both climaxed at nearly the same time. We fell onto the bed, sweaty and exhausted. I felt as if our flesh had been melted together as we looked up to the ceiling together and caught our breath.
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