Under the beach umbrella with a drink in his hand Donny looked out at his boyfriend Tanner who walked the end of the surf in a navy blue briefs as he chatted with their friend Hank who was similarly dressed in a red one. He set down his drink and wiped the wetness from his hand on his t-shirt, then his long shorts. This had been his life since he was a child.
He had always been embarrassed by his body. Short with round features, he felt he was the stereotypical Japanese man and what he was more ashamed of than anything else was his penis. At five inches erect he felt his cock was just below average.
Growing up in an all white neighborhood, attending an all white private school, and in Maryland, he felt had warped his sense of self. It was something he knew but felt unable to integrate into his life even though he had moved away from those people, all the way to California where he met Tanner.
Tanner was like one of those white boys he had always found appealing. He was tall, handsome, and had blonde hair. He worked out regularly at the gym to build muscle, broad shouldered, and a great ass. They had met through work and at first Donny was glad Tanner worked in a different department because he was intimidated by the man but then as they talked he found out the man was truly gentle.
Tanner had been the one to ask him out. He almost didn’t say yes and instead pass it off with some excuse about sexual harassment and workplace relationships but he didn’t, something inside wouldn’t allow him to do it. They went out on several dates. It wasn’t until the second one that Tanner asked to kiss him and the third one when they had any sexual contact.
Donny remembered the feeling of Tanner’s hands pulling at his clothes vividly. The feel of Tanner’s hands at his sides, pulling the sweater up over his head, and pushing at his chest.
“You wear so many layers,” Tanner had said.
His body atop Donny they stared each other in the eye.
“I’m cold,” Donny said.
“You cover up but I like it. I like your body.”
Donny pushed Tanner away. The comment felt like a blow to his gut. It had been so direct, so sincere, and so uncharacteristic for the person Donny thought Tanner would be that it had shocked him. He thought Tanner should be dating skinny guys, muscle guys, or anyone else.
“I’m sorry,” Tanner said.
Donny pushed him away, then pulled himself into a sitting position against the wall. He crossed his arms and for a moment he thought about yelling at him to leave, maybe even running away himself but then Tanner gave him a sad look as if he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he did.
Tanner reached out to him with one finger to tickle Donny’s knee then his thigh making Donny laugh. Tanner laughed and it passed.
Donny had been with other men intimately but they were usually other men whose profiles indicated something about penis size or that penis size wasn’t an issue but he felt an embarrassment having to tell Tanner, or worse having to show him.
That wouldn’t happen until the fourth date as they sat on Donny’s couch. He had felt like they needed do more physically but if it didn’t work out, if Tanner laughed at his cock and his body then he didn’t want to be the one running away.
So he invited Tanner to his apartment for delivery food and a movie. It was something he wanted to say from the moment Tanner arrived.
“Hi, I’m Donny and I’m embarrassed about my body. I think I’m too fat and I have a small cock.”
Tanner worked at making small talk as they ate at the dining room table. He was ready with question after question about nothing that mattered.
Afterwards as they sat on the couch in the darkened room, the only light being the television and from the ones in the kitchen, Tanner placed a hand on his thigh and Donny decided to finally speak during the opening credits.
“I know it sounds weird but I have body issues,” Donny said.
“What?”
“I don’t like my body. I don’t know why you would date me.”
“What?” Tanner asked with a nervous laugh.
“I’m not like those other guys. Underneath I’m just, I don’t know, ordinary. I’m worse than ordinary. I’m pale and I have love handles.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Tanner said. “I like you for who you are.”
The movie began and Donny paused it with his remote control. He wanted to look to Tanner but he was afraid. Tanner’s hand was still on his thigh.
“I’m not shallow,” Tanner said.
“Maybe I am,” Donny said.
Tanner pulled his hand away and turned to look Donny in the face making him look back.
“Don’t we have fun? Don’t we have a lot in common?”
Donny felt ready to cry. He felt tears at his eyes.
“Why do you like me?”
Tanner smiled.
“You make me laugh,” he said.
“Because I’m funny?” Donny asked.
“Because you’re funny. You’re smart, compassionate, and seem like you know what you want. You want a family, you want commitment, and you like dogs.”
“I always imagined reading Lord of the Rings to my son before bedtime,” Donny said.
“See right there. Who else would think about that?”
“Just about every fantasy geek,” Donny said.
“Not really, I didn’t until you mentioned it. You’re like a brain, a sexy brain.”
Donny looked away.
“Really,” Tanner said before reaching out and taking hold of his chin to turn his eyes back.
Donny followed the gesture until they stared at each other again.
“I want to kiss you,” Tanner said.
He leaned forward and they kissed. Tanner grabbed at Donny’s clothes and began to pull them from his body, first the sweater then the pants. Donny pulled Tanner onto him, unbuttoned Tanner’s shirt, groped at his chest. He felt the hard muscles.
“My dick isn’t very big,” Donny blurted out.
“Don’t worry mine is,” Tanner said.
In truth it was seven inches and Tanner was a total top. That night they practiced several positions in the half lit room until they were exhausted and went to the bedroom where they slept.
“Hey, are you having deep thoughts?” Hank asked breaking Donny from his revery.
Donny looked up to Hank who stood with his hands on his hips.
“Are you going to come swimming today?” Hank asked.
Donny shook his head.
“No, the sun, he doesn’t tan well,” Tanner said approaching them.
“Right,” Donny said.
“It feels so good,” Hank said.
“Let’s relax a little,” Tanner said. He walked to the chair next to Donny and sat then reached over and took his hand.
“You’d like it if you went into the water. Take off that shirt and those shorts and you’d be ready.”
“I’d be naked,” Donny said.
“You wear shorts to the gay beach? You’re fit,” Hank said.
“I’m also Japanese,” Donny said.
“Excuses,” Hank said shaking his head.
“Let’s just drop it,” Tanner said.
“No problem, it’s just I don’t see why you come all the way out here and just sit.”
“I said drop it,” Tanner said as flat and stern as possible.
Hank and Tanner looked at each other for a moment before Hank looked away down the beach and whistled before saying he was going hunting, then walked away.
Tanner closed his eyes and sat back in the chair. Donny looked to him, to his muscled chest, the hands that connected them, and then out to the beach. There were several men he judged to have worse bodies than him yet they walked around shirtless and in briefs.
“I should do it,” Donny said.
Tanner opened his eyes.
“Do what?”
“I should go swimming,” he said.
“Really?”
Donny swallowed. After saying it he felt foolish. The prospect of being out there with his boyfriend, people would judge them instantly. Even under the tent they were being judged but it was different. There under the tent Donny knew he could hide.
“Are you ever going to get over your body issues?” Hank asked.
“I don’t know,” Donny said.
“Do you want to?”
“Why? Know a good shrink?”
“Not a shrink,” Hank said, “it’s a group that I was reading about online. They have a local chapter.”
“This should be good,” Tanner said.
“They’re called the WeHo Society of Perverts for Public Humiliation.”
“What? Are you kidding?”
“No, they’re really called that.”
“And you want me to join?”
“I thought maybe, I don’t know, they’d help. They talk about people dealing with shame and body issues.”
“So what I’d humiliate myself in public? Embarrass myself and for what?”
“It’s not real public, not like here on the beach, but private parties and things where people can be naked with other people.”
“And you think this is a good idea?”
“I think it’s better than being afraid,” Tanner said.
Donny looked out to the ocean. He felt insulted by Tanner’s last comment especially because it was true. Tanner had never been so honest. Was he really getting tired of Donny’s fear? Could that be something that broke them up?
***********
Two days later he stood outside the building with the directions and map he had printed from the internet. He looked at the fairly inconspicuous building front that didn’t look like it was much of anything at all except maybe not open for business. The tinted windows suggested privacy but the building itself, the architecture, was something else.
He inhaled deeply, then forced himself to enter. He was defeated instantly by the locked front door. Nearly every ounce of confidence left his body through his toes and shoulders, what remained was stuck in his joints. He sighed and was about to walk away, give up, when there was a buzz from an intercom he hadn’t noticed previously and then a sound of a woman’s voice.
“Hello,” she said.
“Hello,” he replied.
“You have to press the button,” she said.
“Oh right,” he said. He pressed the button. “I’m here for the...” he looked in either direction but no one was on the sidewalk, “West Hollywood Society of Perverts for Public Humiliation.”
“Come right in,” she said.
There was the sound of a bolt being retracted and the door shifted a little. He opened it then stepped inside to a small black room. He was afraid but he would be polite. He made sure to close it behind him he was surprised that the bolt snapped back in place. He was locked inside.
A bright light shined down on him from above. He tried to look up but he only blinded himself.
“How did you hear about us?”
The female voice echoed from speakers that were high in the corners of the room. He tried to look to them. He was at someone’s mercy. He thought maybe someone could be recording him with a camera. Certainly if they knew he was at the door there were more cameras inside. He gulped. What could they have him do? What would he do to be let out?
“A friend told me about it. My boyfriend, he uh, he wants me to overcome my fear of public embarrassment.”
The light dimmed and another door opened in front of him. He rubbed at his eyes and began to step towards the doorway when a figure stepped in front of him. She was tall with a bobbed hair cut and something was coiled in her hand. Was it rope? No, a whip, he told himself.
“Come this way,” she said.
He stepped forward and she took hold of his hand with her own gloved fingers. She led him through the doorway where he found himself in a waiting area much like a doctor’s office. He noted several people sitting around the room in various stages of undress, some were completely naked. Most of them were older. He was disappointed until he noticed that one figure he had thought at first was a statue was in fact a man in silver body paint and posed in the corner.
She led him to the counter where another young woman sat looking at her fingernails. The two women exchanged looks before the one carrying the whip walked away.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m here for...” he looked around the room at these people here for much the same reason, “my boyfriend wants me to overcome my fear of public embarrassment.”
“Okay,” she said. “Would you prefer a male or female intake person? Or maybe someone gender ambiguous?
“I don’t know,” he said. He thought about when he had been asked the same question for his physical. He liked women because they were nicer.
“Are you gay or straight?”
“Gay,” he said.
“What’s your name?”
He looked to the counter where he saw it was the cleanest white he had seen in a long time. He thought about lying but he decided he wouldn’t.
“Donny,” he said.
“Someone will be right with you please have a seat,” she said.
Donny looked back at the room. He counted four men including the statue and three women. There were few places to sit that he wasn’t next to one of them so he decided to pick the spot where he would at least have a good view of the statue. He sat and the man moved. He could appreciate the man’s form, the structure of his muscles. Tanner was much the same way though he had lost a little muscle tone.
Donny sat for fifteen minutes trying to distract himself from each thing he could look at so he wasn’t a pervert but then he began to wonder if that’s why the people were there. One naked man got up from his seat, walked in front of Donny where he saw the chastity device on the man’s penis before he looked away. The man went to the magazines where he looked through them, began to sort them.
“Donny,” a young man’s voice called out from the doorway.
Donny looked to the young man who was in his early twenties. He had blonde tips in his hair and several piercings as well as tattoos. He sighed because he was intimidated by the young man. He should have asked for a woman. Was it too late?
“Come with me,” the young man said.
Donny got up from his seat. He walked to the young man feeling as if his thoughts were leaking from him. The young man ushered him inside then directed him down the hallway and to a private room that looked like a doctor’s exam room.
“What is this place?” Donny asked.
“Have a seat over there,” the young man said. “My name is Kurt and I’ll be doing your intake today.”
Donny went to the chair for patients and sat. Kurt went to the stool with wheels. He moved close with a clipboard and pen in hand.
“You want to get over public humiliation?”
“Embarrassment,” Donny said. He looked around at the room. He thought about the waiting area. “What is going on with this place?”
“This is where we do intakes and also have some role play scenarios.”
“So the people in the waiting area?”
“Like yourself they are trying to get over something or they just like being naked around other people.”
“And you?”
“I’m just a pervert,” Kurt said.
“Sorry for all the questions,” Donny said.
Kurt smiled at him and for once he felt defeated and comforted at the same time. The young man had a gentleness to him that made him think the whole thing could be easy.
“First I am going to tell you about the program and then if you have any questions you can ask. We’ll go through lots of different things and then eventually we’ll do a little role play just to get you used to having someone else with you. Okay?”
Donny nodded. He was pleased. He was excited. He felt his cock stirring. He held his breath wanting it to go away. It didn’t. It got worse.
Kurt explained to him how the system worked. New recruits were placed in chastity devices like he saw the man wearing in the lobby. In order for the devices to be removed a new recruit had to earn thirty points. You earned a point each week for wearing the device in your daily life so that meant you were free after thirty weeks at the least but that was more than half of a year.
There were other ways to earn points:
Daily Slave Service at the Society: 1 point per day
Wedgie Line: 1 point
Wet Underwear Contest: 7 points
Cater Dinner Naked With Mask: 3 points
Cater Dinner Naked Without Mask: 4 points
Cater Party Naked With Mask: 5 points
Cater Party Naked Without Mask: 7 points
Car Wash Briefs: 7 points
Car Wash Naked: 10 points
Participate in Orgy With Mask: 9 points
Participate in Orgy Without Mask: 10 points
Give a public presentation naked: 6 points
Sit in audience naked: 4 points
Amateur Strip Tease With Mask: 10 points
Amateur Strip Tease Without Mask: 12 points
Donny thought about the system as the young man had explained it. Twenty points, twenty weeks seemed like a lot but there were lots of ways to earn points although all of them involved public nudity, public embarrassment, and possibly humiliation.
“We prefer to give the key to your device to a partner for emergencies. This is in case you have to fly somewhere or enter a building with a metal detector and you don’t have to really worry about being humiliated. If you can’t trust your partner or for people who don’t have one we usually give the key to you sealed in a black box so that there is a ceremony to breaking the rules. It’s effective 95% of the time. Many people enjoy the chastity itself.”
“Really? Have you done it?” Donny asked.
“I’m doing it right now,” Kurt said.
Kurt raised an eyebrow.
“Maybe I’ll show you later,” Kurt said. “So what do you think?”
“I don’t know. Can I think about it?”
Kurt nodded.
“But it’s best if I don’t,” Donny said. He thought about his boyfriend Tanner. Did he know all of the ways to earn points? There were things like the orgy he wouldn’t like but other things like catering the party he might actually think was fun.
“I’ll do it,” he said.
“Really?” Kurt asked.
“Stand up, strip down, I’ll have to measure you then go get your device.”
Donny cleared his throat. He stood and walked to the table where he closed his eyes for a moment before he forced himself to undress. He placed his shoes on the table first, then his socks, his shirt. Maybe because it was a doctor’s office it was easier. He took off his pants, slid them down, and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Kurt was watching him eagerly. He piled his clothes neatly before he turned to the young man still in his underwear.
“Cute undies,” Kurt said. “Now take them off.”
Donny had always been ashamed of the size of his penis. He thought about the young man touching him there, measuring him soft, maybe hard. The young man would think he was a fool. He thought about everyone else in the waiting area, his boyfriend, and his boyfriend’s friends. He thought about the ocean.
He stuck his thumbs in the waistband then pulled down and off. He placed them atop his clothes and turned back to Kurt who had regained his professional demeanor.
“Nice penis,” Kurt said.
Donny looked down to see his penis as it hung with the foreskin covering the head. He wanted to cover himself with his hands. He wanted to get dressed. But more than anything he wanted to ask Kurt if he was serious.
Kurt put on latex gloves, wheeled himself forward, and reached out for Donny’s crotch. He took hold of the man’s penis and began to exam it. He peeled back the foreskin sending a shiver through Donny’s body.
“I’m going to have to measure it even though I think I know the perfect size for you. I am going to also have to see it erect just for comfort. Some guys like them small but we don’t like to do that here. We like a little room to breath.”
Donny became aware that he was holding his breath so he made himself exhale, then inhale as he watched Kurt retrieve a measuring device.
What activities should Donny participate in? Let me know.
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