After Brad had surrendered himself to me it wasn’t this “happily ever after” where we walked off into the sunset and lived in a castle surrounded by helpful mice and birds who sang songs, no we were college students, so every day was a grind, every class milestone was a hustle, but we had each other. His room in the frat house most weekday nights, my room in the dorms on the weekends when Kevin was away, sometimes he showed up on Sunday afternoon early and found us cuddled together. Days turned into weeks. The worst part was when he had gone away for Thanksgiving break and I stayed on campus because I didn’t want to go home. It was so boring, though I did figure out how to rob the vending machines so at least there was a little bit of fun.
It was in those few weeks before Christmas break that things changed. Everyone had that little countdown in their head and this desperation to finish do all of the work needed. It was a Sunday, and I was down in the basement of the dorms doing laundry. Kevin had walked in on Brad in his diaper at the desk writing an assignment, and as Brad explained it, well he forgot he was just wearing a diaper. There he sat typing away trying to make some kind of convincing argument when it finally dawned on him. They shared a look and laughed it off, but when I got back Brad was in sweat pants much to my disappointment and Kevin was on his second beer and shirtless on his bed reading a book he was supposed to have finished by the next day. They fell silent when I entered the room with my basket full of clothes.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Kevin said with a mischievous laugh.
“Brad?”
“It’s all good. He just walked in on me in my, well, diaper,” he answered.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin said, “I’m thinking of taking off my pants right now.”
I rolled my eyes and thought about defusing the situation by taking Brad to dinner when Kevin told me that he had ordered pizza and that the fridge was full of beer. I settled for the latter of course and got one out. So I sat on my bed and sorted clothes, started to put them away, when Brad let out this berp, so Kevin did it too, and they both laughed. When they start farting and making jokes about it, I told myself, then I know they’re friends.
“Do you think a butt plug hurts?” Kevin asked.
I looked to him where he lay, his two sock covered feet off the edge of the bed, his long legs covered by jeans, the band of his boxers and that soft tummy, a cute roll of fat. He scratched at himself and shifted on the bed and looked to both of us. I looked away and Brad pretended like he hadn’t heard. So Kevin sat up and moved to the edge where his feet dangled off.
“I’m serious,” he said, “hey look, you guys have probably put stuff up there. I’m not gay but you know, times are changing and I was just curious. Stop being such a prude.”
Brad and I looked to each other and laughed. We knew. We had all the answers and yet as open as we were, as much as we didn’t try to hide our little practice of me putting Brad in diapers, our sexuality, any of it, it still felt like a taboo. For all of our shared secrets we were a bit prudish, at least when it came to straights. Kevin got himself another beer, opened it, and began to drink it. He gave another to Brad and urged him to finish the one by his laptop which he did, then he went into the bathroom and closed the door.
“What do you think that was about?” Brad asked over his shoulder.
“Maybe he’s bi-curious?”
“I don’t think it’s a bisexuality thing. I mean I don’t think he’s into dudes, but you know, maybe he’s just curious. Lots of guys are doing it now?”
“Doing what?”
“Playing with their butts,” Brad said.
“Really? Who?”
“Kevin,” he answered in a whisper and we both laughed.
But we fell quiet when the bathroom door opened and he walked back into the room and went to the sink where he washed his hands. He was about to go back to his bed when there was a knock on the door and he went to open it. I got to my feet just in time for him to hand me two pizza boxes as he tipped the delivery person then closed the door. I set them on my bed and opened both. Kevin was quick to get himself a piece and retreat to his bed where he sat cross legged and looked back at me.
“Don’t you feel like we should be doing something?” he asked.
“And just what do you want to do?” I replied.
“Something, anything, this is so boring. I feel like we should be exploring.”
“Explore your book,” Brad said.
“No, I want like a real adventure,” Kevin replied.
“If you drink enough we’ll tell you about butt plugs,” I said.
“Really?”
“Do you want to know or is this some kind of test where you laugh at us after?”
“I really want to know,” he said.
“Okay,” I said.
And I went into a long explanation about how they felt, how they didn’t quite satisfy and yet there was something fun to it, that it wasn’t for everyone, some people, gay or straight, liked the feeling of having it in their butt. I went into the social context of anal play for some people, the feeling of insertion, and then I talked about how for other people it was annoying, gay or straight, having something in the butt was a bother. I told him about shapes, sizes, and that a tapered base helped it from going inside too far and getting stuck. He raised his knees and turned away in mock fear when he heard that, but then he drank some more and asked for more details.
“I’m not sure how much more I can tell you. Did you try looking it up?”
“It’s not, I mean, I guess, it’s more like personal experience, because you know, it’s like, well…”
“Try sitting on one,” Brad said.
“Hey, are you sitting on one now?”
We laughed nervously.
“Is that what you were trying to ask?” I said.
“No, well honestly kind of, but not to embarrass you, but because I am legitimately curious. Just like when I saw you in the diaper and I made that joke about being able to drink as much as you want without going to the bathroom because you could just go in your diaper. It’s just one of those things.”
“What do you mean one of those things? Is that what you meant when you said you wanted to go on an adventure?”
He blushed and covered his face with his hands so I looked away and tried to think up some reason to break up the party. I mean it felt awkward and yet there was this kind of bond between us, this kind of fun energy. Mostly, it was the alcohol. Kevin drank some more and we let the silence pass. For a moment I thought one of us would think of a new subject, one of us would decide our fates that night, one of us would return the social norms. But we didn’t, because Kevin was the first to speak.
“I wish I had some hard alcohol,” he said, “I’ve been sober all week and I spent two days with my parents. They don’t let me drink around them. I had to convince my older brother to buy a case of beer when he dropped me off.”
“There’s hard liquor at the frat house,” Brad said.
Oh no, I thought, Sunday night is turning into a drinking party, that’s not a good way to start the week. Well, I’ll stay sober, I thought, and Kevin, well Kevin’s poor life choices are his own. But when Brad stood up and stretched and I heard the words, “fuck it,” from his lips, I knew it was going to be a long night regardless of my maturity because they both wanted to get drunk. And just like that with those words we were on a mission to get liquor. Brad pulled on a shirt, retrieved his keys, wallet, and phone from the dresser by my bed, Kevin put on some shoes, and we were out the door. We walked the paths to the frat house with barely a word between us and when we got there Kevin hesitated for a moment before he stepped inside.
Frat life wasn’t for him. He had quit soon after joining, so he was a bit of an unwanted guest, but there was barely anyone home so with a shrug of his shoulders we all went inside. Brad was quick to raid the supply in the kitchen and took two half-full bottles of vodka and a bottle of whiskey with no label. He handed them to Kevin in a grocery bag then we all went up to his room. I knew that Kevin didn’t want to be left alone and cornered by one of the frat brothers. Brad apologized for his messy room and started to look through his drawers. He tossed a couple of diapers on the bed, some clothes, then he pulled out something and covered it with both hands as he moved to Kevin.
“Put out your hands,” he said.
He did. And Brad placed a butt plug, his butt plug, there in his palm. At first he was fascinated by it in his drunken stupor but then he realized what it was and where it had been so he dropped it and pretended to be disgusted. At least in part he pretended because he really hammed it up with all the cries of disgust and wiping his hands on everything. He was about to step away and walk from the room when I decided to joke with him a little and wrapped him on the arm to get his attention.
“Pick it up,” I said, “it won’t hurt you unless you put it up your butt and even then it might feel good, don’t be so scared. You were the one asking all the questions.”
He looked to me then the plug, eventually he picked it up, handed it to Brad, then he wiped his hands on his jeans and walked from the room. Brad showed it to me with a grin before he stuck it in his overnight bag. I shook my head and we both laughed. Kevin waited just outside the room and we all walked out together. When we stepped out into the cool Fall air it felt like we had committed robbery, like we had gotten away with something. The frat guys would never notice the missing liquor, but it still felt like we had done something bad.
By the time we made it back to the dorms we were all laughing and joking with each other with those little shoves and pulls guys do. When we got to the room we spilled inside and were cracking up about nothing. Brad set the first bottle on the desk, followed by the second and third with this resounding thud for each one. He poured shots with the vodka and we downed them. He poured again and we downed them. When he started on the third round I refused and Kevin drank it before going to his bed with a slice of pizza. He ate greedily and made a mess of himself with toppings falling all over his chest and sauce at the corners of his mouth. Brad looked to me and we shared a laugh.
“I’m so drunk,” Kevin said, “this is the best. Who would have thought having a gay roomie and his boyfriend could be so much fun?”
“I won’t take that as an insult,” I said.
“You know what I mean,” he said, “this is great. I just have to pee.”
Then Brad did something I didn’t expect, he took a diaper out of his bag and tossed it to Kevin. It landed in front of him and he stared at it. I watched as the different parts of his body flushed and changed color. His lips turned red. His hands turned red. The cheeks on his face, red. I shook my head a little and thought to change the way this was going when he took hold of it and began to rub the plastic material with his fingers. I could tell he was interested. He just wanted to know, to have the experience, tomorrow it might all be a memory but right then as we sat together, it felt like this given that he would do it. I expected him to go to the bathroom and do it himself but instead he looked to us.
“One of you has to put me in it,” he said.
“Which?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter, Brad,” he said.
“Okay, strip down,” Brad said.
“Do you think this is going too far?” I asked.
“Have another shot,” Kevin replied.
“Hey, don’t say-“
“I’ve been warned all of my life and what good did that do me? I ended up repressed and hating myself,” Brad said, “let him enjoy it. Now strip.”
Kevin got to his feet and swayed for a moment then steadied himself before he pulled his pants and underwear down to his ankles. He stood up and put his hands out in victory as he stood before us with his little penis on display amongst a nest of pubic hair. It was cute just like him. I rolled my eyes though at this situation and I was glad it wasn’t me having to put the diaper on him when Brad pushed him backwards onto the bed and took hold of his feet when they popped up into the air. He pulled off my roommie’s shoes, his jeans, and his underwear, then he pulled him to the middle of the bed, lifted the other young man’s knees into the air. He sat between those legs, looked down over Kevin’s naked body and he shook his head as he laughed.
“Is this the way it’s done? I bet you look real cute on your back,” Kevin said, “a big frat boy like you with all those muscles. I’d like to see that.”
And there it was, this kind of admission, this feeling that he’d had, this fantasy of Brad on his back, a jock boy through and through, yet there he was just like Kevin with his knees in the air. It was the fantasy that got me excited every time we did it. Brad interrupted my thoughts with a playful slap to Kevin’s belly.
“Keep being a smart ass and I’ll have to give you a spanking,” he said.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Kevin replied with a ring of challenge to his voice.
Brad spanked him, three times on the same cheek, but he spanked him. Kevin laughed. He actually laughed while being naked on his back in a room with two young, gay men, his knees in the air, his hole exposed. He laughed. Brad was quick to reposition him and place the diaper under his butt.
“Do you want the full treatment?” I asked.
“What’s the full treatment?”
“I’ve got lotions and baby powder in my drawer here. It’ll really make the diaper experience memorable,” I said.
“Trust me,” Brad added.
“Hell yeah, give it to me daddy, I want it,” Kevin said.
Brad spanked him again, this time it hurt and Kevin said so.
“I’m not just going to let you keep spanking me,” he said.
“Then behave yourself,” Brad replied.
I got bottles from the drawer and handed them to Brad, then I stood there and looked down to Kevin who waited. I watched his tummy rise and fall with each breath, studied the way his cheeks were still rosy, and his nipples hardened at the ends of soft pectoral muscles. He was quite the sight as Brad put the powder on him first, then he held up the lotion for Kevin to see.
“This next part, it’s not about gay or straight, it’s to protect your little butt from dry skin. Do you want me to put it on you?”
“Yes please,” Kevin said.
A note of civility, for all the play, for all the antics, he had found some sense of maturity in this little adventure of his. Brad spread lotion over his ass and the crevices of his thighs. I knew Brad was turned on by this. I was turned on by this. And yet we knew there were limits, this wasn’t someone we had picked up in the bar, this was my roommate. Brad fastened the diaper and pushed himself from the bed, stood next to me. We both looked down at him.
“I feel like I need a pacifier,” he said.
“Do you want to try the butt plug?” Brad asked.
“No, nope, too far, I’m good,” he said.
I looked to Brad, whispered for him to strip down and he did. He stood there in his puffy diaper and rubbed the material for a moment absent mindedly. Kevin reached down to touch the crotch of his diaper and hesitated for a moment before he saw Brad doing it so he did the same. He rubbed the outside, front and back, just to feel it. We all laughed it off and I returned to my bed, Brad returned to the desk. Kevin moved to the wall where he placed a pillow and picked up his book. It was over.
The adventure was over, I thought, but it didn’t have to be. Just what was I thinking? I wasn’t sure. Three drunk guys, two of them wearing diapers, on a college campus, Sunday night. Brad stretched and poured himself another drink. Kevin slipped a hand down the front of his diaper, just a little, just a few fingers, but it was there. We were bored.
“What about going on a little adventure?” I asked.
“I’m game,” Kevin said.
“Me too, I can finish this paper in the morning, just let me save it. What did you have in mind?”
“A little walk around campus,” I said, “but, and here’s the but, you have to walk around in a diaper and a t-shirt, no pants.”
“No pants?” Kevin asked.
“No pants!” Brad shouted in celebration.
And we did, they did. We stepped out of the dorm room a few minutes later with both of them in white t-shirts and shoes, no pants. In the light they looked foolish and for a moment I considered making them take the elevator when the bell rang and some other people from the floor got off in conversation. We all considered running back inside the room but they went down a different hallway, but I could tell the sudden realization of being exposed, well they were both sweating, so I told them we could take the stairs.
Walking around a college campus at night is one thing, but doing it as we were, well it was something else. We didn’t mean anyone harm, just the opposite. We were so focused on ourselves and each other that it was this joke between us. We made it down the stairs and onto a path between the dorms that barely anyone ever used. We walked towards the woods, and it would have been easy to get lost amongst them, but there would also be the risk of being seen by passing cars and the few neighbors who lived near the college and who were always complaining about stuff like this, usually it was the frats, but that night it was us. So when I got the opportunity I steered us back toward campus because I figured if campus security saw us they’d probably laugh it off.
We walked all around campus that night, mostly stayed out of the buildings, just kind of hung around in different places, mostly stayed to the shadows. It was funny to see them run between buildings with just their shirts to cover them, and hide when they heard someone. But the only time we almost got caught was when we got closer to the dorms and we heard security making their rounds. Brad and Kevin hid behind a half wall, stood as close to it as possible and I just sat there on it trying to act like we didn’t have any other place to be. The security guard barely noticed us, but after he passed there were a few whistles and cat calls from the windows of a dorm, by the sound of it a woman. Both of them flushed with fear and ran. I tried to see what window, who had done it, but couldn’t make it out so I just shrugged my shoulders and followed after them back to the room.
Once again we burst into the room full of energy, but this time it died off when we got inside and felt warm again. Each of us went back to doing something, Kevin read his book, Brad wrote his paper, and I surfed the internet. But all we had to do was look at each other and we’d start laughing. The most awkward moment though was when Kevin stood up to use the bathroom. He looked to me and I shrugged my shoulders but when Brad noticed he shook his head.
“Try it,” Brad said.
“I can’t,” he replied.
“Do you mean you haven’t used it all night?” I asked.
“No, well yeah, I mean I peed a little when we were out, but like this time I really have to go and I don’t want to do it in front of you guys.”
“Don’t worry about,” I said.
“Wait, hold on, it’s the best feeling,” Brad said, “knowing and being there with a friend, someone you love,” he looked to me, “it’s wonderful. Just give it a try.”
He closed his eyes tight as he stood there and for a moment I didn’t think it would happen then we heard it, that unmistakable sound of someone pissing in a diaper. We laughed at it for a moment, then he farted, then he ran for the bathroom. Brad and I looked to each other and laughed it off. There are still some boundaries between friends. When he came back the diaper was barely clinging to his hips as he had pulled it off then back on after doing what he needed to do. Kevin was about to get into bed when Brad told him to wait.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked.
“Not yet, but if you go to bed in a diaper like that you’re asking for spills. Pissing a diaper is one thing but pissing the bed is another because you have to do all these sheets and blankets, the mattress is ruined. I think you need a change.”
“Could you do it?” Kevin asked.
Brad was quick to jump to his feet. He finally had someone else to change. This time he waited for Kevin to get into place before he got into position and just like the last time he made him hold his knees in the air with his little dick pointed towards his belly and his hole exposed. It seemed so routine, so ordinary I didn’t watch and went back to surfing the net. I heard a few little whispers, giggles, and for a moment it caught my attention but I was getting tired and the alcohol was working on me so I didn’t think too much about it. So when Brad made his way over to me and crawled into bed, and he wrapped himself around me, put his lips to my ear and whispered that Kevin had asked him to put the butt plug in him I was surprised and for a moment disappointed that I hadn’t seen it, but just the thought of it, of him, there in his bed, my straight roommate with a butt plug in him and wearing just a diaper, well that was enough, and we fell asleep.
The next morning we were all awoken by the buzzing and ringing of Brad’s phone, and it was a good thing too, because we had all slept through our alarms. Brad rubbed the crusties from his eyes as he answered it. Kevin rolled over onto his back and for a moment I saw a look of panic on his face, then relief as I’m sure he pissed his diaper again. Brad looked to me though with renewed fear in his eyes, he held the phone away from his mouth.
“It’s my mother,” he said, “and she wants you to come home for Christmas break.”
“I’m not ready,” I whispered back.
“Too bad, you’re coming,” he said.
“No one will be coming if we both go to your home for Christmas,” I said.
“That’s kind of the point,” he said, “my parents want to meet you. Will your parents mind?”
I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head, my parents wouldn’t mind, they’d kill me, well not literally, but I hadn’t gone home for Thanksgiving. I had promised I’d be home for Christmas. But I could live with disappointing them, so I told him they wouldn’t mind and that I’d go. He looked relieved and told his mother as he went into the bathroom for privacy. Kevin sat up and threw his pillow at me and hit me. He ran his hand through his hair, looked down to his diaper.
“No regrets,” he said, “the butt plug feels weird, especially to wake up with it. Did you hear me jerking off last night? It felt so good when I was drunk.”
“I’m glad,” I replied with a groan of disgust. But the truth was all I could think about was Christmas break with Brad’s family. What kind of hell could this be?
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