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Ends Meat: "Return Play Wasn't on the Menu" (excerpt from unpublished manuscript)

It had become a part of his life.  It was so voracious, everyone he knew was doing it.

John knocked on the door three times.  It opened.  A handsome, middle-aged man stood there in a suit and tie.  His dark hair was short and cropped to his head and he had a thick mustache.  He almost looked like Freddie Mercury.  He held up a wad of bills that he handed over to John who took a quick count.

“You know what I want,” the man said.

John nodded and took hold of the man’s tie then pushed himself inside where he closed the door and commanded that the man strip.

“Strip me,” the man said.  “But be careful it’s expensive.”

There were many ways to handle what the man said.  When he first started John would have done as the man asked yet still tried to keep some element of control.  He took hold of the cloth and pulled so that the buttons popped.

“You’re going to need to see a tailor,” he said before untucking the shirt and unfastening the bottom buttons.  The man smiled.  He undid the belt next and then he turned the man and walked him into the apartment through the main room which was well lit and nicely decorated in a minimal but expensive way, through the hallway to the bedroom at the end.

There the man turned on the lights and John pulled him close.  He stripped the man down to his socks.  He used the tie to bind the man’s wrists loosely as he had been told.  He led the man to the bed where he kneeled.  John placed a hand on the man’s shoulder and the man lowered his head.

In front of them on the wall was a large print of Marilyn Monroe as done by Andy Warhol in stark neon colors.  It was painted directly onto the wall.

“How about I make you come on it,” John said.

The man’s shoulders sunk.  John wasn’t sure if it was submission or disappointment so he slapped the man’s left ass cheek which made his shoulders rise.  It was disappointment.  He slapped again.

“Harder,” the man said.

John knew that wasn’t what the man really wanted.  The man had told him what he really wanted.  John moved to the man’s socked feet.  The socks were thin with a strap around the calf to keep them up.  He was a real business man, a professional who got paid lots of money.  John put the tips of his fingers into the man’s feet and began to tickle him.  Up and down the foot to the heel then back in the most sensitive part the man giggled and pretended to struggle in his binding.

“Spank me,” the man said.

“You’ve been a bad boy?”  It was a cliche question that every guy liked to be asked especially if they wanted to be spanked.  Something about that generation of men.

“Tell me.”

“I want you to spank me,” the man commanded.

John rose up from the foot and dealt a quick slap to the man’s ass.

“Harder,” the man said.

“You don’t want me to tickle you anymore?”

“I said, ‘harder’.  So spank me harder.”

John felt like arguing with the man but he didn’t.  There would be just as much reward in spanking the man as he demanded so he took hold of the man by the back of the neck and leaned him forward to spank at his ass freely.  The man’s ass reddened but he didn’t let out anything more than a grunt.  John didn’t count but he had guessed he landed over twenty smacks when his hand became tired.

“I’m going to use my belt,” John said reaching to unfasten it.

“No, no belts, just spank me.”

John laid into the man again whose grunts grew louder.

“My hand is getting tired.  Can I use something else?”

“My ass that tough huh?  Sissy boy,” the man said.  He pulled his hands from the tie and turned to look at John.  He was breathing hard.  John looked to his cock and though it was large it wasn’t very hard.

“You suck and fuck right?”

John nodded.

“How about spanking?”

John shook his head.

“Not tough enough?”

“Look I don’t do it.”

“A trick like you?  I thought you’d do anything for the money?”

“I’ve done it before.  Couple of times but not for anyone, not for you.”  The last part had slipped from his lips.  He shouldn’t have said it.  It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.  He hoped the man didn’t care and so when the man didn’t flinch or react to it John breathed easier.

“Alright, a fuck then.  How much?”

John told him how much more it would be.

“Okay,” the man said.

“But no spanking,” John added.

“Fine, but you have to talk dirty to me like a slut begging for it.”

John nodded and the man stood, took him by the front of his shirt and led him back through the apartment to the living room where he led John to a leather chair where he sat.  The man opened a wooden humidor, took out a cigar and lit it.  He looked to John who stood before the man still dressed and asked what he was waiting for.  John began to undress.

“Well, what about it?”

“Fuck me,” John said.  “I want your big dick.  Please I want you to fuck me.”

He was easily down to his briefs and that was when he moved to the man’s lap.  He continued to talk as he pulled the man’s hands onto his body.  He reached down to feel the man’s dick and it was barely hard but thick and firm, circumcised.  John leaned in to kiss the man but he was stopped.

“A whore’s mouth doesn’t touch these lips.”

John moved to the man’s neck but the man was quick to push him down onto his knees in front of the chair then pull him by his hair to his crotch where John took the head of the man’s cock into his mouth.  The wood was hard on his knees and as he began to suck he knew he had to get the man out to somewhere else.  The man pulled him off his now hardened dick by his hair and pulled his head back to look him in the eye.

He told John to go get him a drink from the bar, vodka with a twist of lime and ice.  John stood, touched at his knees for a second before he walked to the bar where the man pointed.

He found the ice bucket but it was empty.  An inexperienced person would have asked but he looked to the refrigerator where he spotted an ice machine.  He took the bucket over and noticed that the man had stood to stretch.

In the kitchen the man was out of sight and he didn’t see him leave the room with his clothes.  The machine took a while to start and when it spit out ice it was noisy.  John filled the bucket partially then took it back to the bar when he noticed the man was gone.  The rest of the items were there so he made the man a drink as he had asked then made himself the same.

He took a sip then walked with both of them to where he had been giving the man oral sex.  His clothes were gone.  He walked to the only hallway in the place.  The light was still on in the room at the end of the hall but there was another light in a room off to the left.  He had passed the closed door earlier but didn’t think about it much then.  He pushed the door open and stepped into the doorway.

He expected slings and the man to be standing in a leather costume.  He was ready to throw the drink in his face, kick his ass, get his clothes back and get the hell out.  The man was there but still naked.  The room looked like a guest room where the bed was already made and dressers waited empty for a visitor.

“You made yourself a drink?” the man asked.  “Good.  Now get in your knees and suck my dick.”

John walked to the man, handed him his drink, took another sip of his own then sunk to his knees where he found the carpet flooring was much easier.  The man’s cock had softened and hung limp.  Many men would have grabbed it but John moved to it with his lips where he kissed it first, a tease, then he took it in his mouth and began to suck at it.  The man grabbed him by the back of his head with his free hand and pulled him as far as John wanted to take it.

“I’ll teach you slut,” the man said.

John pulled back and heard the man finish his drink then he lowered it and told John to take it in his free hand and hand him the other one.  John did.

“I don’t want your senses dulled,” the man said.

The man pulled him from his cock then began to smack it against John’s lips and the side of his face.  John began to beg for him to stick it back in, for the pleasure of having his face fucked.  The man pulled him onto it then off again and he drank the contents of the glass and handed it back to John.  He squatted before John, his dick pointing out at him from deep between his legs.

“I really like this room,” he said.  “I have everything I need here.  Now stand up I want a piece of that ass.”

The man took hold of John’s neck and he stood.  He let the man pull him to the desk where he bent over, his own semi-hard cock pressing against the wood in an uncomfortable way he looked back over his shoulder and told the man he only played safe.  The man said he had it right here and went over to the drawer of the nightstand.  John set the glasses down and began to adjust his cock when the man was on him again pressing him hard against the wood.

“Uncomfortable?” the man asked.

“Yes,” John grunted.

“Good,” the man said.  He reached down between John’s legs and took hold of his right wrist.  He pulled the arm tight into John’s crotch.  “I used to be on the high school wrestling team.  I was pretty good.  I loved getting guys into this position and see their butt cheeks splayed open for me.  I could never see what was under those singlets but I knew what was there.”  The man stuck his finger just inside John’s asshole and pulled harder on John’s wrist making his arm press into his balls and he cried out in pain.  “Do you know what this is called?”

John had wrestled for a year in junior high but he didn’t know the maneuver.

“No,” John grunted.

“The ball breaker now give me your other arm.”

John reached out and grabbed the desk with his free hand.  He had to think of something, some way out.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the man said.  “I just want to show you the second part of this move.”

When John didn’t do as he had been told the man spanked him hard on the ass.

“That’s one,” he said.  “How many do you think I can give before my hand tires?”

“Go fuck yourself,” John said.

“No, I’d rather not,” the man said before reaching up across John’s back and taking hold of his other wrist his cock deliberately wedged against John’s asshole.  John let go and the man pulled his hand back until it was past his thigh where he took a pair of handcuffs he had taken from the nightstand and locked them around John’s wrists.  He was stuck, hindered by his own body.

Per Pound of Flesh (not yet published)

Excerpt from Book II, not yet published.

To find out how John got into this position of being a gay 4 pay actor read Per Pound of Flesh now available through Amazon.com for $2.99.

John let out a laugh then replaced the cigarette in his mouth.  He was on a smoke break with Rabbit the only other model at the shoot who smoked.  They stood beside the white exit door in shorts and t-shirts.  Rabbit’s hands roamed over his own body in a nervous, boyish manner.  He pulled out the back of his pants momentarily then the hand moved up to his chest and scratched.

“Seriously, Carl’s dick is so big that I walked funny for days afterwards.  You don’t want any piece of that trust me.  I do not envy you.  I mean it’s a good fuck but you have to be ready to recover for a while.  You won’t shit right the next day.”  Rabbit’s right hand wondered down into his shorts and he began to scratch at his balls.  “How was sucking on it?”

“A mouthful,” he said.

Rabbit laughed.  “And I’ve had my mouth on it so I know.  But that’s what’s great.  A lot of people out there talk and talk about wanting to be in porn but they don’t know what it’s like.

“They will never get in their lives the opportunities we get.  We can have it all.  I mean think about it.  I mean you’re married and if you wouldn’t be doing this you would be stuck with the same person the rest of your life.  You would have no other experiences of life.”

“Conservatives are missing out.”

John found it odd to stand out back of a studio watching a man scratch his own balls, balls he had sucked on, balls that he had gripped and touched, felt against his own balls as he fucked Rabbit and yet it was odd as if the clothing, the lot somehow changed things.

“Damn straight they are but they buy it you know.  The midwest has like the biggest porn addiction, anywhere its boring and they have all these conservative rules people are at home whacking off to the to the shit we do.  We do it for them.  It sells.  And the most conservative people buy it, or they rent it, or they steal it I don’t care.”

“Amen,” John said before taking one last puff before he flicked the butt of into the parking lot.  “Do you want to head back in?”

“Yeah we should go.”

Rabbit threw away his own cigarette butt then followed John into the studio.  He stopped at a table next to the door and called for John to come back.  John turned and saying, “oh right” stepped before Rabbit who sprayed him once from a bottle of breath freshener.

“You know how they hate the smell of smoke.”

“Sissies, we smell like lube and sex anyway.”

“I know right.  Besides I always liked the smell of cigarettes.”

“Me too,” John said.

“Not like their dicks can tell the difference.”

Rabbit set the bottle down and picked up a condom from the bowl on the table.

“This shit is seriously something I don’t miss when I am out on my own.”

They began to walk.

“You fuck without condoms?”

Rabbit waved the packet lightly.

“Sometimes, if I want to, if I trust the guy.  And you should never trust the guy.  But you know I’m negative and if he’s negative.”

“I’d never let someone stick it in me without a condom.”

“And lot’s of lube,” Rabbit said.

They looked to each other and laughed.

“Power-bottoms baby, power-bottoms,” Rabbit held up his hand for a high five which John gave easily.  “Even straight ones.”

They spotted one of their co-stars, Hubert, already on set splayed out on the bed with his limp cock over his left thigh as one of the photographers took pictures.  Rabbit pointed.

“It looks like a giant slug that escaped its shell.”

John laughed as they stepped through the archway of the set.  There behind the fake wall watching Hubert the photographer, with his arms crossed and dressed in a white bathrobe was Carl.

Rabbit began to remove his clothes.  John looked to Carl his partner for the shoot and smiled.  Carl didn’t smile back at first and for a moment with his square muscles, his stern face, John was intimidated.  Then Carl smiled and laughed so John laughed back before he wandered if Carl was laughing at him.

They had already done the promotional shots, the interviews, and the oral.  It was the biggest dick John had ever dealt with so far in his career.  Carl was one of the guys that was all business even though he had been in the business for over a year.  They had shaken hands and said hello and when it came time to shoot they kissed and John sunk to his knees to pull his cock from his pants.  He had slobbered over the thing as he used his best dirty talk and Carl talked back.  Carl was also supposed to be straight.  He was known for his intimidating screen presence, a dominant, power-top who ordered everything he wanted and the other performer tried to follow along.

At the signal of the photographer Rabbit walked to the bed and joined his partner for the shoot.  He was at ease as he leaned onto Hubert.

“Come on Johnny boy strip down so we can get these beautiful dicks up our ass then get out of here.  I have a craving for pancakes with links of sausage.”

“You won’t want any sausage after I’m done with you,” Carl said.

John looked to Carl who was staring at Rabbit.  He pulled off his shirt, dropped his shorts and inhaled deeply.

“John get on the bed there on the other side of Hubert.”

John did as he was instructed.  He let his head also rest on Hubert’s chest and without any coaching he reached down to take hold of Hubert’s cock.  He pulled at it slowly.  Rabbit licked at the man’s nipple before reaching for the back of John’s head and pulling him across the man’s chest for a kiss.  John was familiar with Rabbit’s kiss and to make it look good he feigned passion.

Minutes later he was bent over the bed as Carl inserted his cock between his butt cheeks and into his hole.  It was as filling as he had been told and also like he had been told he feared not being able to walk straight.  As uncomfortable as it was it was also pleasurable and he looked across to Rabbit who made it look easy, maybe too easy.  Some customers didn’t like that.

Rabbit saw him staring over and he reached a hand back across the bed which John took in his own matching hand.  Carl was moving easily now so he started to throw it back and buck.  Carl’s hands ran up his back to his shoulders, he leaned close and John felt warm breath on his ear.  It smelled of garlic and pepperoni, no doubt he had taken a slice of pizza from the refreshment table.  John closed his eyes and let out a moan as the cock buried deep in him struck his prostate forcing a shiver of pleasure through his body.

“You’re straight right?” Carl whispered into his ear.

The question almost brought John out of his revery but he didn’t want to think about it.  Carl slipped his left hand around John’s face and he stuck two fingers in John’s mouth.

“I’ll make you take it in both ends bitch,” Carl said loud enough for the camera.  “You’ll beg me for it.  Come on beg me for it.”

John was usually easy for dirty talk like what Carl said but the comment before about being straight had really hurt him.  He wanted to say something but there were fingers in his mouth so he continued to suckle on them so only a moan escaped from his chest.  Then another as Carl began to pound him.  This was the ride he had signed on for he just wished the guy wasn’t such an asshole.

“Maybe I should take my fingers out of your mouth so you can say my name,” Carl said.  He pulled his fingers out and stood straight up so that his cock was the only fleshy link between their bodies.  His hands fell to his hips and he stopped thrusting.  “Fuck yourself on my dick.”

John began to throw back more, again and again each time let out gasps of air and moans.  Carl began to slap at each cheek of his ass, intermittently rending them in his fingers.

“You love my dick don’t you?”

“I love it,” John said.

“Fuck yourself on my dick boy,” Carl said.

John tried to keep the pace up but he ran out of breath and had to stop.  He leaned onto the bed to rest.

“Too much,” Carl said.  He slid his cock from John then laid it atop John’s backside.  “Looks like a hotdog between buns.  You don’t get anymore of my meat unless you say my name.”

John caught his breath.  It was all for the video, he thought, you have to perform.  So he said Carl’s name.

“Say you want it.  And that you love it.  Come on boy.”

John looked to Rabbit who had his eyes closed and was completely oblivious to John except for their grip and the warmth of his palm.

“I want your cock.  I love your cock.”

“Now roll over on your back so I can look in your face when I make you cream all over your belly.”

Carl smacked him on the ass hard and John let go of Rabbit’s hand.  He began to turn over on his own but Carl was quick to take hold of him and push him onto his back.  He reached down and grabbed John’s ankles pulled them up over his face and he felt Carl’s cock lay for a moment across his own semi-hard cock so the photographer could record it.  Then without saying anything Carl stuck it in deep and hard.  He separated John’s feet and looked down into his eyes.

“Touch my chest like you want to,” Carl said.

John reached up and touched Carl’s hard muscled chest.

“Now get your little dick working so I can show them how much you like my cock.”

John reached down with one hand while still maintaining his other at Carl’s chest and began to stroke at his own cock.  As he knew, as his cock became harder his asshole began to tighten so that when he would work himself into a climax it would be a confusion of pleasure and pain he had done only once before.  Carl reached down to place his fingers at John’s mouth.  He held his lips closed.

“Don’t be that way.  You love it in both ends.”

He looked to the director who was enjoying the show and encouraging him so he let the fingers inside.

“I want you to come all over yourself,” Carl said.

The director nodded.

John pulled at his own dick, worked in a familiar way that always made him come.  He felt it.  He was on the edge.  He closed his eyes but Carl took the fingers out and playfully slapped him on the cheek telling him to look him in the eye.  John did.  He looked Carl in the eye and he felt himself begin to ejaculate.  He felt come hit his face, his chin and down his body.  He felt his dick head which was slick and he began to rub at it eagerly to capture the last feelings of pleasure.

“Do you still love my cock?”

Carl stuck it in deep and left it there.  He took John’s wrists and pushed them above his head.  He leaned in close again and John thought for sure he was going to ask that question again but instead he kissed him and as they kissed he began to thrust again.

He pulled back and slipped his dick out, one last time, he pulled the condom off so John knew what was next as he laid his dick atop John’s and shot load after load of come onto John’s chest.

“I love my cock,” Carl said.

Excerpt from Book II, not yet published.

To find out how John got into this position of being a gay 4 pay actor read Per Pound of Flesh now available through Amazon.com for $2.99.

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Per Pound of Flesh Ch. 09 Good Girls Go Shopping

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Fresh from a shower John stood in the kitchen dressed in a pair of white briefs with Josie against his shoulder as he waited for the water with a bottle of formula to come to a boil.  It was the first full day they were going to get to spend together because Brandi was going to go shopping with Colt and Rachel two of her high school friends.  She had reconnected with Rachel when they went to the salon together to get Brandi’s hair bleached.  She was a blonde again.  He was just waiting for her to leave then he would have the place to himself, well and Josie as well.

Brandi sat with her elbows on the dining room table, the nail of her thumb firmly planted between her top front two teeth.  She pulled her hands away from her mouth and her rings clacked against the table.  She dragged them down its top and sat back in her chair only to cross her arms over he chest.

“You need to find a new job,” she said.

“I’m looking,” he said.  “There’s nothing left in this town.”

“So what,” she responded.

“Well I’m not going to go get my arm chopped off in the lumber mill and I’m not going to join the army.”

“Why not?”

“There’s a war on right now.  I mean sure, if there wasn’t a war then maybe I would join.”  He held his daughter out from his shoulder and looked her in the face.  He wasn’t going to leave her, he thought.  He knew what it was like to grow up without a father, with substitute fathers who took him on vacations but didn’t give a shit about him.

“So do you want me to get a job?” she asked.  “You know it’s full-time taking care of her.”

“I know that,” he said.

They looked each other in the eye.  It was a full-time job.  It should be a full-time job, he thought, and they were getting by.  It was a struggle.

There was a knock at the door.

“That’s probably Rachel and Colt,” she said.

John looked at the water which had begun to bubble so he turned off the burner.  He rocked Josie a little and there was a second, more anxious knock.  John looked to Brandi who sat back in her chair.

“I’ll get it,” he said.  He walked from the kitchen to the front door where he unbolted and opened the door.  Colt stood in the doorway with one booted foot on the entrance, broad shouldered and strong jawed, John had known him in middle school.  He was a year ahead.  They were on the wrestling team together and in high school John had been at one of Colt’s basketball games because Brandi had wanted to go with Rachel.  He stepped inside and instantly towered over John.

“Hello there,” Colt said to Brandi who still sat in the kitchen.

Rachel stepped inside and lifted her sunglasses from her face.

“Oh my,” she said smiling at John.  “Looks like we caught you in your undies.”

“We just got out of a bath together,” John said.

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Rachel made a small gesture of amusement with her eyebrow to John before she said, “Oh look at the little one.”  She reached out for Josie and John let her pull the blanket back.  “She’s so cute.”

“Thanks,” John said.  “How are you guys doing?”

“It’s a heat wave out there,” Rachel said.

“Good thing we got air conditioning,” Colt added.  “You’re looking a little under dressed to go to the mall.”

“Yeah,” John said.  He pulled the blanket back and secured her to his shoulder.  “I wanted to spend some time at home.  She’d just cry all day.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet,” Rachel said.  “You get to stay home with the little pumpkin and mommy gets to go out and spend some money.”

“Hopefully not too much,” John said.

“So, Brandi, you’re still going?”

“I don’t know,” Brandi said.

“Oh come on,” Rachel said.  “We drove all this way.  There are some really good deals out there and we got the truck so we can load that up.”

Brandi stood and walked into the room.  She moved to John with her eyes down and her top lip sucked down under her lower lip and placed her arm around his shoulder.  She waited for him to look her in the eye and when he did she said, “Can I go with them and take the card?”

“You know we need to keep the purchases small.”

“I’ll be good daddy, I promise.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” he replied.

She smiled and let her hand drop down his back then slapped him hard enough on the butt to make a sound everyone could hear, loud enough to make Colt laugh out loud before trying to cover it by coughing.  John blushed.  It was that naughty sense that had always appealed to him.

“I’ll be good,” she said.  “Give me a kiss.”

He leaned to her and she took him by the head and began to kiss him deeply.

“I think we need to, uh, make sure the car is still running,” Colt said.

“Yeah, why don’t we...”

Brandi pulled back from his lips and smiled to their guests who exited the trailer then once the door was closed she kissed him again and this time she reached for his underwear which had begun to tent.  She rubbed at the head of his cock through his briefs and kissed him until he had begun to leak pre-cum.

“I promise I’ll be good,” she said.

“You’re the one who is always complaining about the bills.”

With both hands she pulled his underwear down around his buttocks and took a cheek in each hand.  She looked to Josie then to John.  She gripped him tightly.

“You like it when I play rough.  I love you,” she said.  Then she sank to her knees.

“Wait,” he said.  “What about Rachel and Colt?”

“They can wait,” she said.  “The car has air conditioning.”

He let out a guttural sound as she took him into her mouth and a shiver ran down his spine.  He adjusted his baby in his arms.

“Wait,” he said.  “Let me set her down.”

She pulled away and he moved past her to the bedroom with his underwear falling down until he got the bedroom where he set Josie down and then walked back to the front of the trailer but Brandi was gone.  She had exited quietly.  He took his slick cock in hand and went back to find his underwear.

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Hours later, John was flat on his back in bed trying to think of nothing when he heard the truck pull up beside their trailer.  He heard the door close and moments later Brandi as she opened their front door.  He listened as she walked through the trailer to their room.  He could hear the sound of bags and he knew she had bought something, a few things.  He didn’t want to look.

“Look what I got you,” Brandi said in her best coy voice.

“What?” John asked.

She set down the bags then fished out a black, oblong box.  He squinted at it as he began to worry about what was inside and how much it had cost her, him, them.  She moved to him and set the case on his chest.  He opened it to find a pair of sunglasses, Dolce and Gabbana.

“How much did these cost?”

“They were having a sale,” she said.  “I got myself a pair as well.”

“How much?”

“One hundred twenty-five,” she said.

“For both?”

“For yours, mine were half off.”

“That’s almost two-hundred dollars,” he replied.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, “you get so worried about the money.  I can take care of it.”

“How?”

“We’re not going to be broke forever.  It was a gift to myself.  It’s not like we pay much rent or anything.”

“But that money is supposed to be saved so we can get our own place,” John said.

“Do you realize what all I’ve been through with having a kid?  With my parents walking out on me and your mother?  It’s been tough and I wanted something for myself, besides I bought you a pair.”

She was winning the argument but he didn’t want her to walk away too easy.  That money, it had been made on his labor, nickels and dimes at a time, hours of his life working for bosses he hated, bosses that weren’t all that smart and didn’t appreciate their employees.

“You bought yourself a pair and you got me the second pair just so I wouldn’t fight about it.”

“So now I’m the only one being selfish?”

“You weren’t thinking about me.  We need to save money.”

“For what?  A rainy day?  It’s raining,” she said.

“Fuck,” he said.

“Okay, yeah, I saw them and I wanted a pair but I only bought them because I saw the sale and I thought you might like a pair of your own.  I was thinking about both of us.”  Her face tightened, eyes began to water, and she turned away.  “Enjoy your fucking gift.”  She walked from the room and slammed the door shut.

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Per Pound of Flesh (Ends Meat) Preview Ch. 01

 

Preview Chapter 01 from Per Pound of Flesh 

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novel with estimated > 60K words

Faced with supporting a wife and baby daughter a young man decides to go into gay porn.

01- The Motel

The swimming pool of a low-end motel just outside Baltimore, MD.  It was close to midnight and the air had cooled significantly, John worked his arms and legs to stay afloat in the deep end.  He was fine to just float, to kick his legs and move his arms in a way that he had once learned from a pamphlet left somewhere by the YMCA.

Swimming lessons were supposed to be last year’s birthday gift but his mother couldn’t get him there on the weekends because she had to work ‘extra-hours’ and now he was fourteen and going to high school next year.  He dreaded the thought of swimming in gym class if he ever had to do it.

His chin just above the surface he stared across the water to the boy he had just met that day, Kevin, who swam away with an easy stroke to the side of the pool.  Kevin was a year younger but he could swim like a fish and John suspected he was smarter too.

“Come here,” Kevin said.

John winced at the invitation because no matter how he tried he knew he would look foolish trying to swim there.  He sighed then began to cross to the side of the pool in his best doggy-paddle.  When he reached the side he grabbed onto it like a life preserver and felt relief when he was able to anchor his body to the stone.

“Are you tired yet?” Kevin asked.

“No, you?”

“No,” Kevin laughed.

“So what else do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

They both looked to John’s mother, Kelly, who lay on a deck chair keeping a supervisory watch over them from behind a pair of sunglasses she had been wearing since before the sun went down.

“What else is there to do mom?” John asked.

“Sleep,” she said.  “You guys have been busy playing for the last six hours or so.  Why don’t you guys go to bed?”

“I’m not tired,” John said.

“Me either,” Kevin said.  “I wish you could come back to my room I have an Xbox.”

“Do you have any good games?”

“Lots,” Kevin said.

John bit at his lip as he thought about asking to go to Kevin’s room to play video games because he suspected she wouldn’t let him but they were on vacation so it was worth asking.

“Hey mom can we go to Kevin’s room and play video games?”

“Well, I don’t know.  I’m sure they are going to kick us out any moment but I’m not sure about video games.  Your mom must be worried about you though.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Kevin said.

“John is going to be headed to bed soon.  I’m sure your mom doesn’t want you up all night.  Why don’t you go make sure she doesn’t think you’re lost?”

Kevin looked to John who shrugged his shoulders.

“Can he stay out a little longer?”

She reached for her martini glass and took a sip then held it out in front of her face, swirled the remaining liquid.  She raised the glass in an imagined toast then brought it back to her lips and drank the rest of it.

“No, I think it would be best if he headed back to his room now,” she said.

They looked at each other as they were trumped by her authority.

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“Well, okay, but we should go swimming tomorrow morning before we have to leave,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Kevin turned and pulled himself from the water.  He walked to the chair where he picked up his towel and began to dry himself.  He looked to John and said goodnight before he wrapped the towel around his shoulders and walked from the pool area, making sure to close the gate behind him.

“Why don’t you get out of the water?  You have to be a prune by now.  Everyone else has gone inside.”  She placed the glass back on the table then reclined back into the most comfortable position.

“Okay,” he replied before he gripped the side of the pool firmly then pulled himself from the water.  He adjusted his trunks and a shiver ran out from his spine.  He looked at his finger tips but he couldn’t make out any detail in the darkness.

The area was dimly lit by the glow of a few lights placed inconveniently around the deck.  The lights were low and weak, the minimum needed for night safety or less.

“It’s cold out here,” he said before crossing his arms and moving to the end of his mother’s chair.  He picked up a towel and began to dry himself.

His mother looked up at him through her sunglasses.  She could only make out his form but she knew what was there.  He had a strong chin, broad shoulders, and naturally athletic build and he was going to be short.  He had put on a little weight over winter but she knew it would be gone in the spring when he got back into sports.  He was going to be a heartbreaker, she thought, just like his father.  He was smart, athletic, and not too cocky.  He was honest and could be very sincere but sometimes, rarely, he had a fit of anger.

“This is the life,” she said.

“It’s nice.”  He wrapped the towel around his waist and picked up the second one which he wrapped around his shoulders before he stepped to the stand beside his mother and picked up her silver, cigarette case.  He took out a cigarette and put it between his lips.

“You’re lucky I’m drunk,” she said.

“Good to know,” John said.  He picked up the matching lighter and lit the cigarette quickly before returning them both within her reach.

He had inhaled cigarette smoke a few times but was wary of lung cancer so he didn’t do it all of the time.  He took a seat in the chair on the other side of the stand.

“Clark is a nice guy,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.  Clark was the third boyfriend he knew about since his father had left them when he was five years old.  He liked Clark.

“It was nice of him to take us on vacation for a few days.  I don’t get to take you all the places I’d like to.”

It was a thought of regret, regret for something John knew his mother had no control over.  It was a pointless thought to him.  It wasn’t meaningless because it meant she felt bad, no it was just sad.  He didn’t like sad thoughts about things you couldn’t control.

“I can’t believe everyone else had to go inside.  What time is it?”

“I think it’s after eleven.  I’m surprised that one boy stayed out with you as long as he did.”

John nodded.  Most other parents had strict bed times for their children, strict curfews and rules.  If his mother was having a good time then he knew he could have stayed all night at the pool.  He kind of wanted to.  It was nice to swim in the pool after dark because the sun wasn’t out and there was no glare.

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In the darkness the world shrank, didn’t seem so large and so impossible.  He closed his eyelids, checked with his thumb to make sure the cigarette was secure in his hand, and let himself relax.  He wasn’t like that long before he heard the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot, shutting off, and the door opening.

If it were Clark, he thought, it would be easy to see them from where he would have to park in front of the motel room door.  He heard the sound of dress shoes on gravel and knew the man was headed their way.

“How are you guys doing?” Clark asked from the other side of the gate.  John and his mother looked to the familiar voice and smiled.

Clark was just over six foot tall with a dark Italian complexion.  He wore a white shirt and canary yellow tie, dark slacks and black dress shoes.  He opened the gate and walked to them easily with a calm, determined gate.  He was a salesman.  She always said her boyfriends were.

“I’m sorry I had to be out all day and we couldn’t do anything.  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”  He stopped at Kelly’s side, leaned in to give her a welcome kiss and took the cigarette from her hand.  He stood and took a puff before handing it back and giving her another second kiss briefly on the lips.

“Have you guys been swimming?”

“John’s been in all day,” she said.

“Probably a prune then,” Clark said.

John winced at the remark because it was what his mother had said.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Then you probably don’t want to go back in,” Clark replied as he loosened his tie.  He pulled it off and dropped it on the chair, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.  “Maybe we should throw your mother in.”  He took back the cigarette.

“Oh no you don’t, I’ve just had my nails done today.”

“Okay,” Clark said kicking off his shoes.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“What’s it look like,” Clark replied as he unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt.  “I’m going to go for a swim.”

“Now?  You don’t have any trunks.”

He pulled off his dress shirt then maneuvered his undershirt around the cigarette and dropped them in her lap, stuck the cigarette between his lips and unfastened his belt.

“Clark,” Kelly said.

He turned away, from where John sat and had been watching them, towards the pool and dropped his pants.  “Nothing no one doesn’t see at home.”  He handed back the cigarette and pulled off his socks before he walked to the pool’s edge.  There John could make out the man’s form in silhouette.  He could see the man’s shoulders, the shape of his back, even his buttocks and maybe, there in the darkness was the man’s penis still covered by thin, white briefs.   Should he be seeing the man’s penis, he asked himself.  Was he supposed to look away?  What was he supposed to do?

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The man had made no action to cover himself.  And it was true, Clark had often walked around the house in his underwear or a towel.

Clark jumped into the water in a cannonball type dive.  He popped up and let out a loud yell of relief then a sound of irritated pain before he complained about it not being heated.

“I guess I got used to it,” John said.

Clark swam to the edge and placed his hands there.

“Why don’t you join me?”

John looked to his mother who motioned for him to get into the pool.  He stood and stretched for a moment before he dropped the towels on the chair, took a few steps, and jumped.  Clark laughed at the sight before he quickly swam to the young man.

When John surfaced he was surprised to feel Clark’s hands around his sides to hook under his arm pits and he knew what was coming so he let out a playful yell then closed his mouth before he hit the water as Clark had dunked him sideways into it.  He pulled the boy up and did it to him again on the opposite side.  John let out wild laughter as he popped back up from the water.

For a moment he could feel Clark’s chest against his back, so much larger than his own body, hairy too.   Clark lifted him from the water and pushed him away then swam back some distance, stopped, and began to splash water.  John turned on the man and splashed water back in his direction.  It had been a long time since someone had done something like that and if it had been anyone else John might have been angry about it but Clark, well Clark could get away with those things.

“If we had more people we could play Marco Polo,” Clark said.

“Yeah, we were playing that earlier.  It’s a fun game.”

“Are you a good swimmer?  We could race.”

“No, that’s okay,” John said.

“Come on it will be fun.  I’ll give you a lead.”

John shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said.  “I’m not really that good.”

“Do you know how?”

John shook his head.

“No sweat maybe we can do it later.  I can show you how.”

John looked to his mother.  It was the type of promise he had heard before but it felt more sincere.  He nodded.

“But let’s just enjoy the quiet huh?”

John nodded then watched as the man swam to the far end of the pool with an easy back stroke.  That was the lesson he should have learned, to do the back stroke.  Clark then pushed off from the wall and swam the length of the pool as John bobbed in the water.  Another lesson to be learned.  John looked to his mother who seemed to be equally entertained as if they were sharing a moment.

They swam for some time with very little contact between them, each mostly sticking to their own area of the pool.  Clark liked to swim from end to end while John clung to the wall or else did a few deep dives which he had taught himself to do.  John had forgotten he was swimming in the same pool as a nearly naked man until it was time to get out.  Very little was said.  It was more an unconscious agreement that all the joy had been drained from the event.  His mother retrieved a towel and carried it to the pool side next to the steps.

By then John was hanging onto the pool side where Clark was exiting.  It wasn’t on purpose, he thought, but as the man exited he couldn’t help but look to him, at him.  There in the light he could make out his buttocks more clearly than before and the way the cloth clung at his crotch.  His mother wrapped the towel around the man attempting to conceal him in yet another form fitting fabric.

They returned to their rooms shortly afterwards.  His mother and Clark together in one room and John in his own room, “to do things that fourteen year old boys do and to let parents do the things they want to do,” Clark had said.  John knew it meant that he had privacy to masturbate and they needed privacy to have sex.

John showered, put on a pair of underwear then lay face down on his bed.  His body felt surprisingly light, his muscles felt loosely attached to his body with a slight burn.  He thought he would be capable of swimming more but his brain was tired.

There in the darkness of his room he heard the slow grunts of his mother and Clark as they had sex.  There was a connecting door between the rooms, a thin one.  He appreciated that they were trying to be quiet, it even made him smile, but it also made him feel unlucky, even miserable to hear them and know the sounds for the rest of his life.

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