Controller Cords (excerpt)

Inside I picked out a few cans of cola, some candy bars, and bag of chips then headed to the counter when I thought about something else.  Condoms.

I had never even thought about buying them before but now I was legal age and getting them would be embarrassing but maybe, just maybe we’d need them.  I went to look for them and found them among a collection of mundane bathroom products like shaving cream and tampons.

There were two kinds lubricated and un-lubricated.  I picked up the lubricated then put them back and picked up the un-lubricated.  Would he have some?

Would he know what kind to get?  I picked up the lubricated and headed to the counter where an old woman stood waiting for me.  She looked like someone’s mother.

“These don’t make very good water balloons,” she said.

I gulped and looked to her then down to the rest of my items as I slid them to her.  She took them one at a time as she punched in the prices then told me the price.  I paid with another twenty and she bagged my items.

Feeling ashamed I walked from the store with my head down, the box of condoms in my a bag along with the candy bars.  What a bitch, I thought.  I rounded the corner then dashed to the steps and went up them two at a time.

I opened the apartment door and was surprised to find the place was darker than when I had left.  So dark you couldn’t tell shapes apart.  Candles burned throughout giving a strange illumination as if each flame was too bright.

I stepped inside and looked to the living room but the television was off.

“Close the door,” Evan whispered.

I looked to where I heard his voice in the darkness.  I hadn’t seen him among the shadows of the kitchen.  I closed the door.

“Set your bags down on the floor,” he said.

I set them down.

“Did you buy anything that would melt?”

“No,” I answered.  “But I bought condoms.”

“I never bought them down there.  Did the old woman say anything?”

“She said they wouldn’t make good water balloons.”

“Bitch,” he said.

“I know right.  So uh, what’s going on here?”

“We’re going to play a game,” he said.

“Okay,” I said.

“No talking,” he said.  “If I go too far then you can say banana and I promise to stop.”

I gulped.

“What is this?”

“No talking,” he said.  “Take off your shirt.”

I looked into the darkness but I couldn’t see him.  I had no way of knowing if we were even alone but I trusted him.  I took off my shirt.

“Good,” he said.  “What do you feel?”

“Foolish,” I said.

When he didn’t respond I told him I felt the cool air and that my nipples were getting hard.  I told him I felt my feet in my shoes and that there was a hole in my sock I hadn’t felt before but now I could tell it was there.

“Take off your shoes and socks,” he said.

I did as I was told then he asked me again what I felt.  I told him I felt the cool floor and the way my jeans hung on my body.  I told him they felt heavy and the cuff was around my ankle and just above the heel of my foot.

“Do you want to take them off?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Say sir,” he corrected.

“Sir,” I said unintentionally echoing him.  He was silent allowing me a moment to correct myself.  “I want to take my jeans off sir.”

“Good,” he said.

I looked from the shadow and darkness to the candle and then to the window where I could see black drapes had been drawn blocking out even the faintest light.

“Take off your jeans,” he said.

I unbuttoned them and unzipped them as I looked back into the darkness where I thought he was sitting.  I began to slide them down and for a moment I thought about taking off my underwear as well but I hadn’t been told to take them off.  It could be some desperate act for attention and to speed things along, I thought.  But I knew he wouldn’t like it.  His directions had been very clear.

I slid them down and stepped out of them.  I held them in my hands for a moment before he told me to drop them to my right on the floor.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

I did.  Now the darkness was absolute and I trusted him completely.  I thought about how I had barely fantasized about something like this happening.  I thought about the blow job he gave me and I felt my cock stiffen.

Find the rest of Controller Cords, a kinky weekend between friends, here on Amazon.com for .99 cents

You can find this as well as 13 other stories in my book Teased: Brief Erotic Stories for $.99 here on Amazon.com

Making Him Earn It Pt 1 & 2

I was tired of guys thinking they had the upper hand just because I was on the bottom so after breaking up with my boyfriend of two years I decided from then on I would play hard to get, after all I was the one with the talent in need.

Guys said they knew me just because of the way I act and it was true I played into some stereotypes just to get what I wanted but it was never forced.  It was an exaggeration.  I had always been the sissy, the weakling, and the runt.  Men wanted to try and dominate me my entire life, straight and gay, but I have some drive in me, some spark, hah flame, that endured a hell of a lot more than any of them could.  They were the fragile ones.  They liked to wrestle with me, pull off my clothes, and try to humiliate me but it never kept me down.  I didn’t learn to live with it.  I pushed through it.

So when Troy approached me at the bar I had his number right away.  He was broad shouldered and a good eight inches taller than me making him about six-foot-four.  I had never dated or fucked someone that tall before and I had an impression from pornography that guys that big also had big dicks.  I got a chubby just from considering if it was big enough to wrap both of my hands around it at the same time but I told myself I had to ignore that thought he was mine after all.  He was the one who needed me.

I could tell right away he was on the hunt for anyone of us at the table possibly and my friends could have had them if they could get him, normally I would have competed in the most direct actions but I forced myself to play it cool.  I looked away from him as he started to talk, not rude, but preoccupied because the others would be polite, fight for his attention.  I checked my phone, looked through the dancers and the crowd for other familiar faces, and even drained my drink before considering another one all the while listening to find out any personal details he offered.

He said he was in technology sales so I figured that meant cell phones or computers.  I didn’t know that meant large scale.  He was living in the gayborhood but he traveled a lot.  He liked drag queens but could never imagine dating someone in a dress.  He was hitting on everyone else but me though I could tell I had his attention by not giving him my attention.

One by one nearly everyone else got him out to the dance floor and through my brief observations I saw each of them was desperately grinding against him and he was amused.  I had no way of knowing if my ruse was working as well as I wanted it to work and I tried to prepare myself if it didn’t.

I was on my second martini when he came back to the table in tow from one of the other boys who let go of him and dashed off to get a drink.  He stopped next to me and started a conversation as if we had been talking the whole time.  I was tempted to give him attitude but didn’t.

Instead I joined the conversation as if we had been talking the whole time and it was easy.  Sometimes conversation just is, especially with the right people.  It felt like we were old friends and fell into a habit of speaking, listening, and then speaking again until he motioned to the dancefloor.  I’m not one to dance.  Sometimes I feel like I am making a fool of myself.  Sometimes I am making a fool of myself especially if I had one too many drinks.

This time I let him lead me out there and we started slow.  I wasn’t going to throw myself at him.  At first it was just fingers brushing against each other’s bodies then it wa hands and I knew he wanted more but I decided to up the stakes.

I was going to get him to do the one thing he probably didn’t usually do, at least not in a casual club like this, not when he was hunting and there were so many prey.  He would have been the one to get us to do it but I felt emboldened by my own self-denial.  I pulled him into me and spoke into his ear.

“Take your shirt off,” I said.

He pulled back and shook his head before he tried to reach for me again.  He was going for my shirt.  I knew it by the look in his eyes.  Power games.  He thought if he got me out there, if he got me dancing, then if I flirted with him he was going to get me to be the first one.  Then he’d take me back to the table like some conquered prize.

No, I told myself, and then I pushed away from him and continued to dance.  He came after me again and I decided to show him I wasn’t the desperate one.  In fact there were plenty others who would have me.  I spotted a guy nearby, a beefcake who was dancing with a slender young man like myself.  Maybe I could have them both.

The beefcake looked back and in turn got his partner’s attention until all four of us were in a staring contest.  I signaled that I was open to a three-way, hell maybe even a four-way, but Troy wasn’t having it and decided to break us away from them.  He was trying when I told him again what he had to do.

He wanted me.  So he did it.  He took off his shirt to reveal a large, muscled body.  I was still looking back over him at the beefcake when he tucked his shirt in his back pocket and moved his hips so that I could make out the band of his underwear and the v from his waist down under his jeans.  He had gotten me away from the couple but I decided he was still far from getting me into bed.

We danced for some time.  He started to grind on me and I started to play with his chest.  We were sweaty and horny.  I decided to break our reverie and led him back to the table where we stopped just long enough for me to check-in with my friends and let them know I was leaving with the hunter.

Thankfully as we were headed out he told me he had driven and that we could go back to his place because his roommate wouldn’t be there.  I got into the passenger seat of his Audi and looked across at him still shirtless as he drove.  I loved seeing his muscles in the partial light as they flexed with such mundane actions.  I thought about giving him road-head but decided that was the previous me.  No, I had been playing hard to get so far so I was going to make him work for it.

Back at his place, a small house in suburbia, we weren’t even the door completely before he turned on me and grabbed at my clothes.  We kissed and it was perfect.  Our warm tongues slid around each other as our hands pulled and gripped at each other’s clothing and skin.  I went for his nipples and tweaked them, rubbed at them until they were hard and pointed.

He pulled at my shirt until it was up over my head then off, breaking contact with his nipples and our mouths only momentarily.  He pushed the door shut and led me into his bedroom as we stripped off our clothes along the way until we were both down to our underwear.

I closed the bedroom door after me and was back at him.  I pushed against his body until he was on his back on the bed and I was on top.  He looked up at me and smiled.

“You’re one hot little fucker,” he said.

“That’s not the best of it,” I said.

He reached for my sides and I let him grip me for a moment before I pulled his hands away and pinned him to the bed and kissed him deeply.  Our crotches rubbed together and I could tell even through the fabric that he was big.

I wanted him.  But would this be my moment of truth?  Would I lose my smooth, calm act?  We rubbed cocks together and kissed as I thought about the next step.  I felt wetness in his underwear and mine but I knew he hadn’t orgasmed so it was pre-come.  I could have pulled his cock out, slipped onto it, and rode him but I thought of my boyfriend and everyone’s comments.

I pulled myself from his lips.

He tried to keep connected to me and for a moment I felt hot breath on my face and the shift of weight as he pushed up from the bed.  He wanted me.  But what was he willing to do to get it?

I pushed against him gently until he was on his back again and stopped rubbing into him.  I sat there for a moment as if I had conquered him but the truth is we had done so little.  We hadn’t done it.  We hadn’t fucked.

Our breathing had both slowed as I tried to think of my next move.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I lied.

“Let’s fuck,” he said.  He pushed up again but this time I knew he wanted to take something.  He wanted to take me.  Pull me down and kiss me.

“Hold on,” I said stopping him.

“Are you a virgin?  I thought at the club you were acting suspicious.”

“I’m not,” I said.  I needed time.  “It’s just I didn’t plan on doing this.  I need to shower and get cleaned up.”

“I’ll change the sheets.  Come on, I’m about to lose control here.”

I smiled at his insistence.  I reached out for his muscled chest and felt the roundness of his pectoral muscles.  I moved a little on his cock and he moaned.  I found his nipples and worked them until they were pointed and stiff, pulled at them.

He leaned forward and we kissed again, our cocks bent against our stomachs.  I wanted him and he wanted me but I wanted to keep control.  I pushed against him until he was on his back and I was an inch from his body.  I hovered over him feeling the heat of his skin.

“Are you any good at taking care of yourself?”

“You’re going to leave me like this?”

“No,” I said, “I just don’t want you to lose interest and go soft on me.”

“What are you going to do?”

I pushed off the bed and tried to orient myself because I was in a stranger’s bedroom.  I saw the doorway we where we entered.  I saw another door but it had to be the closet.  Then another doorway where the door was partially closed.

Out of habit I slid my feet because I usually left dirty clothes on the floor but there was nothing in my way.  He’s tidy, I thought, good.  I made my way into the bathroom and found the light switch and turned on the light but the sudden illumination blinded me so I turned it off, counted to three with my eyes closed and turned it on again.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Just one hand,” I said.  “If you come before I get back you’re going to be disappointed.”

I closed the door and looked around.  Everything in there was clean and I suddenly realized he must have a maid who comes at least a few times a week because no guy keeps the place clean on his own.

I wanted to tie him down.  I wanted to gag him.  I wanted to sit on him and fuck him until his eyes rolled back into his head.

There was nothing in here to do that, I thought.  Until I spotted the laundry basket.  I went to it and looked inside.  It was full of dirty clothes.  I pushed aside the shirt on top and began to rummage through his dirty laundry.  If I could find the right pair of briefs then maybe I could tie him down.

Better, my heart skipped a beat, I found a jock strap, two in fact, though one was dirtier than the other so I put that one back.  I set it on the counter and looked at myself in the mirror.  What streak had possessed me?  I thought of him out there in his bed alone.  He might have lost control.

I opened the door a crack and told him to be patient then closed the door.  First I wiped at myself with toilet paper but then I was feeling dry and scratchy so I looked for a wash rag.  I didn’t have time for a shower.  It was the sheets or the rag.  I decided on the latter so I grabbed one from a pile of clean ones at the bottom of a stand.  I wet it then began to wash at my ass, down into my crack, and at my hole.  As I loosened up I felt my own cock stiffening until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I threw the rag in the trash, picked up his jock, and opened the bedroom door.  We were both partially illuminated in the light and I liked the way it cast into his bedroom so I decided to leave it on as I made my way to his bed.

He was still on his back and toying with himself through his underwear.  I asked him where he kept the lubricant and condoms.  He told me in his bedside stand like most every gay man I knew including myself.  It meant he fucked regularly.

There was the thought again that I was just another notch on his bedpost but I pushed it aside.  We were here.  We would do this.

I got onto the bed and moved up his body until I was over his crotch again but this time in my hand was his jockstrap.  I gripped at his sides, pulled his hands from his body, up above his head, I worked the jock around his wrists until I felt like he couldn’t free himself.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Shh, if you don’t stay quiet I’ll have to gag you with your underwear.”

I ran my fingers down his arms to his armpits where I felt him squirm at my touch.  I massaged the area until he relaxed and then ran my fingers to his chest and down his sides across each bone of his ribcage.

“I’m going to fuck you,” I said.

“Wait, I thought-”

“Shh,” I said.

I maneuvered my ass cheeks over his cock and slid along it making him moan.  It had been long enough.  We had both suffered too long.  I retrieved the condoms and lubricant then slid down his body where I pulled off his underwear then tossed it up near his head thinking I really might use it to gag him if he got too loud, neighbors and such.

His cock stuck up into the air with a slight bend back to his belly button.  I gripped it with one hand and squeezed.  His balls were tight, the head engourged.  I knew I could lose him if I wasn’t careful.  I let go and opened the condom packet, found the reservoir tip in the light from the bathroom then touched the ring around the sides of the head.  I rolled the sheath down over the shaft and gripped it again.

I opened the bottle of lubricant and squirted some into my hand then worked his cock and some between my cheeks.  I was ready.

I positioned myself just above his cock then slid back on it slowly until I got stuck then I pulled off and pushed back on again a second and third time until finally I sunk down to his balls.  His arms and hands sprung from the bed and for a moment I thought I would grab at me until I remembered that his wrists had been tied together.  I ducked under his hands and let them settle over my shoulders.  I could feel him pull at the back of my neck with the jockstrap binding.  I moved down to kiss him as I worked myself on his slippery, covered cock.

Our lips parted.

“Oh fuck,” he said.

“That’s right, let yourself go,” I said.

I had always practiced my control.  Squeeze then relief, move then stop, up then wait, down and hold.  He began to moan and pant louder with each maneuver.  I played with my own cock feeling that with each stroke I was adding extra friction when I slid.

I grabbed at his sweaty chest, his muscled arms with my free hand.  This man who I had gotten shirtless on the dancefloor for me was mine.

“I’m gonna come,” he said.

“Wait,” I said.

“I can’t.”

He began to yell out.

“I’m gonna come.  I’m gonna come.  Oh fuck!”

I reached for his underwear, found them by one little bit, and picked them up, balled them in my hand and moved them to his mouth where I stuffed them inside.

His cries partially muffled I decided to finish him off.  My own cock was throbbing and I didn’t know how much more I could last.

I sped up, pounded against his balls, and he raised himself from the bed trying to match me.  Then he thrust up one last time and let out a final moan.  I was close so I decided to let loose.  We would need new sheets anyway.  I sprayed over his chest and up onto his face hitting his chin.  I let out a laugh and I could tell he wanted to as well but couldn’t so I pulled out the gag.

I pulled myself from his cock then sat on it as I teased the last sensations from myself.

“You were good,” I said.

“Fuck,” he replied.

You can find this as well as 13 other stories in my book Teased: Brief Erotic Stories for $.99 here on Amazon.com

Per Pound of Flesh Ch. 09 Good Girls Go Shopping

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Fresh from a shower John stood in the kitchen dressed in a pair of white briefs with Josie against his shoulder as he waited for the water with a bottle of formula to come to a boil.  It was the first full day they were going to get to spend together because Brandi was going to go shopping with Colt and Rachel two of her high school friends.  She had reconnected with Rachel when they went to the salon together to get Brandi’s hair bleached.  She was a blonde again.  He was just waiting for her to leave then he would have the place to himself, well and Josie as well.

Brandi sat with her elbows on the dining room table, the nail of her thumb firmly planted between her top front two teeth.  She pulled her hands away from her mouth and her rings clacked against the table.  She dragged them down its top and sat back in her chair only to cross her arms over he chest.

“You need to find a new job,” she said.

“I’m looking,” he said.  “There’s nothing left in this town.”

“So what,” she responded.

“Well I’m not going to go get my arm chopped off in the lumber mill and I’m not going to join the army.”

“Why not?”

“There’s a war on right now.  I mean sure, if there wasn’t a war then maybe I would join.”  He held his daughter out from his shoulder and looked her in the face.  He wasn’t going to leave her, he thought.  He knew what it was like to grow up without a father, with substitute fathers who took him on vacations but didn’t give a shit about him.

“So do you want me to get a job?” she asked.  “You know it’s full-time taking care of her.”

“I know that,” he said.

They looked each other in the eye.  It was a full-time job.  It should be a full-time job, he thought, and they were getting by.  It was a struggle.

There was a knock at the door.

“That’s probably Rachel and Colt,” she said.

John looked at the water which had begun to bubble so he turned off the burner.  He rocked Josie a little and there was a second, more anxious knock.  John looked to Brandi who sat back in her chair.

“I’ll get it,” he said.  He walked from the kitchen to the front door where he unbolted and opened the door.  Colt stood in the doorway with one booted foot on the entrance, broad shouldered and strong jawed, John had known him in middle school.  He was a year ahead.  They were on the wrestling team together and in high school John had been at one of Colt’s basketball games because Brandi had wanted to go with Rachel.  He stepped inside and instantly towered over John.

“Hello there,” Colt said to Brandi who still sat in the kitchen.

Rachel stepped inside and lifted her sunglasses from her face.

“Oh my,” she said smiling at John.  “Looks like we caught you in your undies.”

“We just got out of a bath together,” John said.

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Rachel made a small gesture of amusement with her eyebrow to John before she said, “Oh look at the little one.”  She reached out for Josie and John let her pull the blanket back.  “She’s so cute.”

“Thanks,” John said.  “How are you guys doing?”

“It’s a heat wave out there,” Rachel said.

“Good thing we got air conditioning,” Colt added.  “You’re looking a little under dressed to go to the mall.”

“Yeah,” John said.  He pulled the blanket back and secured her to his shoulder.  “I wanted to spend some time at home.  She’d just cry all day.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet,” Rachel said.  “You get to stay home with the little pumpkin and mommy gets to go out and spend some money.”

“Hopefully not too much,” John said.

“So, Brandi, you’re still going?”

“I don’t know,” Brandi said.

“Oh come on,” Rachel said.  “We drove all this way.  There are some really good deals out there and we got the truck so we can load that up.”

Brandi stood and walked into the room.  She moved to John with her eyes down and her top lip sucked down under her lower lip and placed her arm around his shoulder.  She waited for him to look her in the eye and when he did she said, “Can I go with them and take the card?”

“You know we need to keep the purchases small.”

“I’ll be good daddy, I promise.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” he replied.

She smiled and let her hand drop down his back then slapped him hard enough on the butt to make a sound everyone could hear, loud enough to make Colt laugh out loud before trying to cover it by coughing.  John blushed.  It was that naughty sense that had always appealed to him.

“I’ll be good,” she said.  “Give me a kiss.”

He leaned to her and she took him by the head and began to kiss him deeply.

“I think we need to, uh, make sure the car is still running,” Colt said.

“Yeah, why don’t we...”

Brandi pulled back from his lips and smiled to their guests who exited the trailer then once the door was closed she kissed him again and this time she reached for his underwear which had begun to tent.  She rubbed at the head of his cock through his briefs and kissed him until he had begun to leak pre-cum.

“I promise I’ll be good,” she said.

“You’re the one who is always complaining about the bills.”

With both hands she pulled his underwear down around his buttocks and took a cheek in each hand.  She looked to Josie then to John.  She gripped him tightly.

“You like it when I play rough.  I love you,” she said.  Then she sank to her knees.

“Wait,” he said.  “What about Rachel and Colt?”

“They can wait,” she said.  “The car has air conditioning.”

He let out a guttural sound as she took him into her mouth and a shiver ran down his spine.  He adjusted his baby in his arms.

“Wait,” he said.  “Let me set her down.”

She pulled away and he moved past her to the bedroom with his underwear falling down until he got the bedroom where he set Josie down and then walked back to the front of the trailer but Brandi was gone.  She had exited quietly.  He took his slick cock in hand and went back to find his underwear.

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Hours later, John was flat on his back in bed trying to think of nothing when he heard the truck pull up beside their trailer.  He heard the door close and moments later Brandi as she opened their front door.  He listened as she walked through the trailer to their room.  He could hear the sound of bags and he knew she had bought something, a few things.  He didn’t want to look.

“Look what I got you,” Brandi said in her best coy voice.

“What?” John asked.

She set down the bags then fished out a black, oblong box.  He squinted at it as he began to worry about what was inside and how much it had cost her, him, them.  She moved to him and set the case on his chest.  He opened it to find a pair of sunglasses, Dolce and Gabbana.

“How much did these cost?”

“They were having a sale,” she said.  “I got myself a pair as well.”

“How much?”

“One hundred twenty-five,” she said.

“For both?”

“For yours, mine were half off.”

“That’s almost two-hundred dollars,” he replied.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, “you get so worried about the money.  I can take care of it.”

“How?”

“We’re not going to be broke forever.  It was a gift to myself.  It’s not like we pay much rent or anything.”

“But that money is supposed to be saved so we can get our own place,” John said.

“Do you realize what all I’ve been through with having a kid?  With my parents walking out on me and your mother?  It’s been tough and I wanted something for myself, besides I bought you a pair.”

She was winning the argument but he didn’t want her to walk away too easy.  That money, it had been made on his labor, nickels and dimes at a time, hours of his life working for bosses he hated, bosses that weren’t all that smart and didn’t appreciate their employees.

“You bought yourself a pair and you got me the second pair just so I wouldn’t fight about it.”

“So now I’m the only one being selfish?”

“You weren’t thinking about me.  We need to save money.”

“For what?  A rainy day?  It’s raining,” she said.

“Fuck,” he said.

“Okay, yeah, I saw them and I wanted a pair but I only bought them because I saw the sale and I thought you might like a pair of your own.  I was thinking about both of us.”  Her face tightened, eyes began to water, and she turned away.  “Enjoy your fucking gift.”  She walked from the room and slammed the door shut.

Digital Book 'Per Pound of Flesh' Available June 8, 2013 Free Download on Amazon.com

Per Pound of Flesh Ch. 13 Excerpt

“I don’t even know why I’m crying.  I hated the job.  I mean it sucked.  Michael was such a douche bag.  I bet he dreams about sucking cock.”

John smirked at the outburst then looked around again before focusing back on Dennis who dabbed at his cheeks.

“What am I going to do for a job?” he asked.  “I needed that money.”

“Hey, it’ll be fine.  I mean it’s not like you have to pay rent right?”

Dennis let out a deep sigh.  “My parents,” he said, “you don’t think he called them?  I mean I had to put their information on my application in case of emergencies.  If my parents found out.  I mean it was already bad enough when my mom figured out I hadn’t been in my room all night.  By the way I told them I was with you.”

“Just take it one step at a time,” John said.

“I’m in so much shit if they find out,” he said.  “All of my life I’ve had to hide who I was and now this and I can’t even keep a fucking job.”

Dennis looked John in the eye.  He had a look of fear John hadn’t seen before in his life.  He was exposed and vulnerable.  Some part of John wanted to cry with him but he couldn’t.  He felt like doing the opposite, to show some resilience instead.

“I haven’t seen a waiter since I sat down,” John said.  “What kind of service do they have here?  You might be able to work here,” John said.

“I hate these places,” Dennis said before he laughed then leaned close and asked with a sarcastic tone, “Do you think they are hiring?”

******

They were stopped in front of Dennis’s house like they had been when John had asked him if he was still gay after Dennis had come out to him on John’s birthday.  It was all there in John’s mind as he stared at Dennis in the seat next to him.

“Well, I wish I could take you out for a drink but my wife really wants to go to the mall and I have work later tonight.”

“It’s okay,” Dennis said.

“No really, I’m sorry,” John said.

“I know,” Dennis said.  “You’ve been really nice to me.”

“But if you need me then give me a call.”

Dennis opened the car door and began to stand.

“No really, call me,” John said.  “If your parents, you know, if they know and you can’t deal with it.”

Dennis turned and looked back to him.

“I wish I could kiss you,” he said.

“I know,” John replied.

“Well, it’s just a dumb fucking job I didn’t like anyway.”

“Maybe it’s for the better.”

“Maybe,” Dennis said.  He moved the door slightly with his hand to close it then stopped.  It was a moment.  It was an ending.  He pulled it open to steady himself the readied to close the car door.

“Hey, take care,” John added.

“Thanks I’ll see you later.”

Dennis closed the door and turned away from the car as John watched him walk back to his home.  It was a mundane sight that he had seen before but it meant so much more to him in that moment.  He shifted to drive and pulled away from the curb.

Per Pound of Flesh (Ends Meat) Preview Ch. 01

 

Preview Chapter 01 from Per Pound of Flesh 

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novel with estimated > 60K words

Faced with supporting a wife and baby daughter a young man decides to go into gay porn.

01- The Motel

The swimming pool of a low-end motel just outside Baltimore, MD.  It was close to midnight and the air had cooled significantly, John worked his arms and legs to stay afloat in the deep end.  He was fine to just float, to kick his legs and move his arms in a way that he had once learned from a pamphlet left somewhere by the YMCA.

Swimming lessons were supposed to be last year’s birthday gift but his mother couldn’t get him there on the weekends because she had to work ‘extra-hours’ and now he was fourteen and going to high school next year.  He dreaded the thought of swimming in gym class if he ever had to do it.

His chin just above the surface he stared across the water to the boy he had just met that day, Kevin, who swam away with an easy stroke to the side of the pool.  Kevin was a year younger but he could swim like a fish and John suspected he was smarter too.

“Come here,” Kevin said.

John winced at the invitation because no matter how he tried he knew he would look foolish trying to swim there.  He sighed then began to cross to the side of the pool in his best doggy-paddle.  When he reached the side he grabbed onto it like a life preserver and felt relief when he was able to anchor his body to the stone.

“Are you tired yet?” Kevin asked.

“No, you?”

“No,” Kevin laughed.

“So what else do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

They both looked to John’s mother, Kelly, who lay on a deck chair keeping a supervisory watch over them from behind a pair of sunglasses she had been wearing since before the sun went down.

“What else is there to do mom?” John asked.

“Sleep,” she said.  “You guys have been busy playing for the last six hours or so.  Why don’t you guys go to bed?”

“I’m not tired,” John said.

“Me either,” Kevin said.  “I wish you could come back to my room I have an Xbox.”

“Do you have any good games?”

“Lots,” Kevin said.

John bit at his lip as he thought about asking to go to Kevin’s room to play video games because he suspected she wouldn’t let him but they were on vacation so it was worth asking.

“Hey mom can we go to Kevin’s room and play video games?”

“Well, I don’t know.  I’m sure they are going to kick us out any moment but I’m not sure about video games.  Your mom must be worried about you though.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Kevin said.

“John is going to be headed to bed soon.  I’m sure your mom doesn’t want you up all night.  Why don’t you go make sure she doesn’t think you’re lost?”

Kevin looked to John who shrugged his shoulders.

“Can he stay out a little longer?”

She reached for her martini glass and took a sip then held it out in front of her face, swirled the remaining liquid.  She raised the glass in an imagined toast then brought it back to her lips and drank the rest of it.

“No, I think it would be best if he headed back to his room now,” she said.

They looked at each other as they were trumped by her authority.

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“Well, okay, but we should go swimming tomorrow morning before we have to leave,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Kevin turned and pulled himself from the water.  He walked to the chair where he picked up his towel and began to dry himself.  He looked to John and said goodnight before he wrapped the towel around his shoulders and walked from the pool area, making sure to close the gate behind him.

“Why don’t you get out of the water?  You have to be a prune by now.  Everyone else has gone inside.”  She placed the glass back on the table then reclined back into the most comfortable position.

“Okay,” he replied before he gripped the side of the pool firmly then pulled himself from the water.  He adjusted his trunks and a shiver ran out from his spine.  He looked at his finger tips but he couldn’t make out any detail in the darkness.

The area was dimly lit by the glow of a few lights placed inconveniently around the deck.  The lights were low and weak, the minimum needed for night safety or less.

“It’s cold out here,” he said before crossing his arms and moving to the end of his mother’s chair.  He picked up a towel and began to dry himself.

His mother looked up at him through her sunglasses.  She could only make out his form but she knew what was there.  He had a strong chin, broad shoulders, and naturally athletic build and he was going to be short.  He had put on a little weight over winter but she knew it would be gone in the spring when he got back into sports.  He was going to be a heartbreaker, she thought, just like his father.  He was smart, athletic, and not too cocky.  He was honest and could be very sincere but sometimes, rarely, he had a fit of anger.

“This is the life,” she said.

“It’s nice.”  He wrapped the towel around his waist and picked up the second one which he wrapped around his shoulders before he stepped to the stand beside his mother and picked up her silver, cigarette case.  He took out a cigarette and put it between his lips.

“You’re lucky I’m drunk,” she said.

“Good to know,” John said.  He picked up the matching lighter and lit the cigarette quickly before returning them both within her reach.

He had inhaled cigarette smoke a few times but was wary of lung cancer so he didn’t do it all of the time.  He took a seat in the chair on the other side of the stand.

“Clark is a nice guy,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.  Clark was the third boyfriend he knew about since his father had left them when he was five years old.  He liked Clark.

“It was nice of him to take us on vacation for a few days.  I don’t get to take you all the places I’d like to.”

It was a thought of regret, regret for something John knew his mother had no control over.  It was a pointless thought to him.  It wasn’t meaningless because it meant she felt bad, no it was just sad.  He didn’t like sad thoughts about things you couldn’t control.

“I can’t believe everyone else had to go inside.  What time is it?”

“I think it’s after eleven.  I’m surprised that one boy stayed out with you as long as he did.”

John nodded.  Most other parents had strict bed times for their children, strict curfews and rules.  If his mother was having a good time then he knew he could have stayed all night at the pool.  He kind of wanted to.  It was nice to swim in the pool after dark because the sun wasn’t out and there was no glare.

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In the darkness the world shrank, didn’t seem so large and so impossible.  He closed his eyelids, checked with his thumb to make sure the cigarette was secure in his hand, and let himself relax.  He wasn’t like that long before he heard the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot, shutting off, and the door opening.

If it were Clark, he thought, it would be easy to see them from where he would have to park in front of the motel room door.  He heard the sound of dress shoes on gravel and knew the man was headed their way.

“How are you guys doing?” Clark asked from the other side of the gate.  John and his mother looked to the familiar voice and smiled.

Clark was just over six foot tall with a dark Italian complexion.  He wore a white shirt and canary yellow tie, dark slacks and black dress shoes.  He opened the gate and walked to them easily with a calm, determined gate.  He was a salesman.  She always said her boyfriends were.

“I’m sorry I had to be out all day and we couldn’t do anything.  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”  He stopped at Kelly’s side, leaned in to give her a welcome kiss and took the cigarette from her hand.  He stood and took a puff before handing it back and giving her another second kiss briefly on the lips.

“Have you guys been swimming?”

“John’s been in all day,” she said.

“Probably a prune then,” Clark said.

John winced at the remark because it was what his mother had said.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Then you probably don’t want to go back in,” Clark replied as he loosened his tie.  He pulled it off and dropped it on the chair, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.  “Maybe we should throw your mother in.”  He took back the cigarette.

“Oh no you don’t, I’ve just had my nails done today.”

“Okay,” Clark said kicking off his shoes.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“What’s it look like,” Clark replied as he unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt.  “I’m going to go for a swim.”

“Now?  You don’t have any trunks.”

He pulled off his dress shirt then maneuvered his undershirt around the cigarette and dropped them in her lap, stuck the cigarette between his lips and unfastened his belt.

“Clark,” Kelly said.

He turned away, from where John sat and had been watching them, towards the pool and dropped his pants.  “Nothing no one doesn’t see at home.”  He handed back the cigarette and pulled off his socks before he walked to the pool’s edge.  There John could make out the man’s form in silhouette.  He could see the man’s shoulders, the shape of his back, even his buttocks and maybe, there in the darkness was the man’s penis still covered by thin, white briefs.   Should he be seeing the man’s penis, he asked himself.  Was he supposed to look away?  What was he supposed to do?

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The man had made no action to cover himself.  And it was true, Clark had often walked around the house in his underwear or a towel.

Clark jumped into the water in a cannonball type dive.  He popped up and let out a loud yell of relief then a sound of irritated pain before he complained about it not being heated.

“I guess I got used to it,” John said.

Clark swam to the edge and placed his hands there.

“Why don’t you join me?”

John looked to his mother who motioned for him to get into the pool.  He stood and stretched for a moment before he dropped the towels on the chair, took a few steps, and jumped.  Clark laughed at the sight before he quickly swam to the young man.

When John surfaced he was surprised to feel Clark’s hands around his sides to hook under his arm pits and he knew what was coming so he let out a playful yell then closed his mouth before he hit the water as Clark had dunked him sideways into it.  He pulled the boy up and did it to him again on the opposite side.  John let out wild laughter as he popped back up from the water.

For a moment he could feel Clark’s chest against his back, so much larger than his own body, hairy too.   Clark lifted him from the water and pushed him away then swam back some distance, stopped, and began to splash water.  John turned on the man and splashed water back in his direction.  It had been a long time since someone had done something like that and if it had been anyone else John might have been angry about it but Clark, well Clark could get away with those things.

“If we had more people we could play Marco Polo,” Clark said.

“Yeah, we were playing that earlier.  It’s a fun game.”

“Are you a good swimmer?  We could race.”

“No, that’s okay,” John said.

“Come on it will be fun.  I’ll give you a lead.”

John shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said.  “I’m not really that good.”

“Do you know how?”

John shook his head.

“No sweat maybe we can do it later.  I can show you how.”

John looked to his mother.  It was the type of promise he had heard before but it felt more sincere.  He nodded.

“But let’s just enjoy the quiet huh?”

John nodded then watched as the man swam to the far end of the pool with an easy back stroke.  That was the lesson he should have learned, to do the back stroke.  Clark then pushed off from the wall and swam the length of the pool as John bobbed in the water.  Another lesson to be learned.  John looked to his mother who seemed to be equally entertained as if they were sharing a moment.

They swam for some time with very little contact between them, each mostly sticking to their own area of the pool.  Clark liked to swim from end to end while John clung to the wall or else did a few deep dives which he had taught himself to do.  John had forgotten he was swimming in the same pool as a nearly naked man until it was time to get out.  Very little was said.  It was more an unconscious agreement that all the joy had been drained from the event.  His mother retrieved a towel and carried it to the pool side next to the steps.

By then John was hanging onto the pool side where Clark was exiting.  It wasn’t on purpose, he thought, but as the man exited he couldn’t help but look to him, at him.  There in the light he could make out his buttocks more clearly than before and the way the cloth clung at his crotch.  His mother wrapped the towel around the man attempting to conceal him in yet another form fitting fabric.

They returned to their rooms shortly afterwards.  His mother and Clark together in one room and John in his own room, “to do things that fourteen year old boys do and to let parents do the things they want to do,” Clark had said.  John knew it meant that he had privacy to masturbate and they needed privacy to have sex.

John showered, put on a pair of underwear then lay face down on his bed.  His body felt surprisingly light, his muscles felt loosely attached to his body with a slight burn.  He thought he would be capable of swimming more but his brain was tired.

There in the darkness of his room he heard the slow grunts of his mother and Clark as they had sex.  There was a connecting door between the rooms, a thin one.  He appreciated that they were trying to be quiet, it even made him smile, but it also made him feel unlucky, even miserable to hear them and know the sounds for the rest of his life.

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